So, whose job is it to make a mockery of the Jubilee House now? Which incognocenti sit within those halls of misdirected power and draw wages on job descriptions that include planning outrageous stunts such as the one Meek Mills was allowed to pull off, rapping all kinds of unmitigated twaddle from behind the same lectern bearing the seal of the President of our Ghanaian republic? Has the current occupant of the National Stool and his so-called men slipped so much into their dotage that the sacredness of the presidential lectern is lost on them? The same people who treat a chair as sacred enough to warrant luxurious conveyance wherever our septuagenarian leader goes failed to summon up enough common sense to prevent an ex-convict from wearing tatters and spewing verbiage of similar parentage at the Jubilee House. All the makings of our national colours, insignia and paraphernalia were desecrated under the watch of one who has arrogated unto himself Nehemiahic accolades towards the building of a monument to human folly – a National Cathedral based on his personal presidential ambitions alone, and no doubt couched in the theologically jaundiced advice of a tongues-speaking religious charlatan that to be leader of this country, one needed to endear himself to his Deity through penance and indulgence as highfalutin as a Cathedral.
And in the above introduction, I have outlined two of the stanzas making up Jubilee House’s Festival of 4 Jokes since the clock struck 2023 in Ghana. Remember that Meek Mills will never have found audience with any of this country’s eminent Chiefs dressed like that. But the perquisites of residence at Jubilee House must have fallen so low since the peerless JAK occupied its halls that any class one rapper may visit and do a rap verse in language unbecoming to the ears of people happily building a Cathedral to the Most Holy. Then, at the beginning of the week I read of the resignation of Trades and Industry Minister Allan John Kwadwo Kyerematen. With two clear years left to go before Akufo-Addo’s reign comes to what we all expect will be an ignominious end, the man believes his presidential ambitions will not be best served working for the government. He needs a head start on Vice President Bawumia who cannot bail on the government without looking like a traitor. The problem with Dr. Bawums will be the baggage of a tanked economy. He cannot campaign under the shadow of this abysmal economy unless he turned it around majorly in three months. While true that his was the only voice at Cabinet to vehemently disagree with the imposition of the downright stupid e-levy, to say that he wasn’t in charge fully and would do better as president would be stabbing Ogyam in the back in no mean ways. Eventually, of course, all candidates in ministerial positions will have to jump ship to succeed as flagbearer-candidates, but that isn’t the third joke out of Jubilee House. The raucous laughter is elicited by him who was named as caretaker minister until a substantive one was named to head the Trades ministry. The same person we’ve been trying to remove for a shambolic state of the economy. Of all the people!
That was joke #3.
I was arranging a meeting with a respectable leader for Monday, January 7 when she reminded me, “Monday is a holiday – or you don’t support the Constitution? 😜” And it was the day before that that joke number 4 came out of the Jubilee House. President Akufo-Addo was like, “I say, without any form of equivocation, that my government has undertaken, arguably, the boldest initiatives since independence to reform and strengthen the capacity of our institutions to tackle corruption in the public sector.” Clearly, that was meant to be funny. How does one, without equivocation, make room for a counterargument to a claim? First, he sounded cocksure, and then he invited arguable disagreement. The same confusion that has dogged his government over whether we are a proud nation or a sniveling IMF beggar dogs his speeches and utterances, contributing to this episode of 4 Jokes and Carols at the Jubilee House.
Have y’all seen the video where Meek Mills met with the President? Guy was running his mouth in all kinds of street slang Americano and the President and his goons had this pout on their lips that could not convey whether they understood a word the dude was saying or whether it was at that exact moment they realised they had messed up. Surely, the Jubilee House could have had a better guest. I don’t have a problem with Dave Chappelle, for instance. He came, shook hands with the President, and left. I didn’t even know they let people into the Jubilee House with their phones. I couldn’t get a toy phone through the check point on one visit, and I wasn’t even meeting anyone important.
Whoever let all this go down like that must be desperate for some PR, and was willing to disgrace us all for it. What an absolute outrage!
JayJay D. Segbefia is a current affairs and adventure travel writer. Trained as a journalist and a licensed outdoor adventure operative, he combines an ocular attention to factual detail and an acerbic wit to his writing. He is author of the Executive Hallucination, a Ghanaian thriller.
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