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Tucked beautifully away in the forests between Akyem Asafo on the Apedwa-Bunso stretch of the Accra-Kumasi highway and Akyem Kukurantumi on the Koforidua-Nsutam road is the village of Addo-Nkwanta. This village could only correctly be called a Ghanaian village. Unlike other Akyem villages where Akyem Twi was the lingua franca, Addo-Nkwanta has a healthy mix of just about every Ghanaian tribe. When I was young, I started sentences in Akwapim Twi and ended them in Krobo, Ewe or Kyerepon. Everyone was welcome in Addo-Nkwanta, which is probably why, when the predominantly farming village got sizeable enough to deserve its own sub-Chief, or Odikro, the citizens decided, rather than have the Paramountcy in Kyebi or the divisional chief in Asafo nominate an Odikro, to select one from among ourselves.

It had never been done before. No one had elected a chief before. Before the notion was proposed, there were many claimants to the non-existing stool, not one of whom had true nobility or royal blood in their veins. Oh, there was one pretender or another to one forgotten stool or another, and the whole thing seemed messy in the beginning. Since they did not want Asafo and Kukurantumi dictating to them through an Odikro of their choosing, the Addo-Nkwantanians chose the most practical way out – elect an Odikro and leave the bestowing of stool titles and what-nots to him.

As one would expect in a situation such as this, there were over 2-hundred candidates! And ballots after ballots were cast over a period of a decade. The rest of Akyemdom sat back and chortled at all the foolishness of electing an Odikro, but the village was determined, and on the 32nd ballot and with minimal cheating, an Odikro was elected – a cassava farmer called Afrane.

He grew coco-yams too. 

It’s important to never forget the coco-yams.

Anyway, after his election, every village man who thought he was important would make a 12-kilometre journey to Odikro Afrane’s farm to pay homage, since he had no palace yet and lived more on his farmstead than in the village proper. In one instance, a family that wanted to be named KrontiHene went and knelt in one of his vegetable beds, claiming, “Hail Odikro Afrane, the Magnificent.”

“Oh, have a care for your finery,” he declaimed to the prostrate family. “I have just well-manured the bed you’re kneeling in with cow dung,” he finished plaintively.

This was in the late 1970s. Ten years later, Odikro Afrane’s mother passed, and having tasted the sweet essence of power, he demanded of Addo-Nkwantanians a levy to bury his mother in style.

Of course the village refused.

Odikro Afrane was furious. But he failed to see a vital truth. He was elected mainly because we’d rather have been Odikroless than to have had a person claiming some kingship by blood rule over us, especially if that blood was idiotic, like one of the candidates from the division was.

No sir.

And having given a fat middle finger to true nobility, the last thing we were going to do was to kiss the butt of one whom we had ourselves set over us. Funeral levy our village butts!

No one paid the levy.

To make matters worse for Odikro Afrane, the legendary musician C. K. Mann released a song about that same time. Some rather long medley, but one part was about Adwoa Yankey, a woman who had lost her husband and was being asked to look to God for solace. The part that offended the Odikro and thrilled the villagers was this:

Nnyɛ awo nko na wo na ewu o!

Nnyɛ awo nko na wo agya ewu o,

Ɛna ewu, egya ewu, Nnyɛ awo nko na wo na ewu o,

Aware saman kor oh!

To wit: You’re not the only one to have lost a Mother to demand a funeral levy!

Needless to say, the Odikro banned the song from being played in the village. If one was caught even whistling it, the penalty was three ram and 3 bottles of schnapps. He also banned the material dress in vogue of the same name as the song, and refused to let the village have electricity. When he himself died 12 years later, the song Adwoa Yankey was played at his funeral over loud speakers powered by the rural electrification project.

Ever since COVID-19 struck and June 2020 passed kwatakwata with only a few deaths in Ghana, the government of President Akufo-Addo has blamed every one of the country’s economic problems on the pandemic and now, on the Russo-Ukrainian war. These problems have been double-digit inflation, high cost of living, government and civil service corruption, and an increase in taxes. No one is happy except party foot soldiers and the Officer Corps of the Insult Battalion on Facebook.

But what aahn did the Ghanaian government do for We the People during COVID’s lockdowns that it has been drumming the pandemic as the reason for its present incompetence?

Let’s first take a look at what other governments did when Coronavirus shutdowns around the world pushed countries into crisis-mode. It prompted a massive rescue spending in an effort to soften the blow from what was accurately expected to be the worst economic contraction since the 1930s. The IMF reported, as of April 7, 2022, that countries around the world approved more than $4.5 trillion worth of emergency measures.

Example, all Americans earning under $99,000 – an estimated 90% of households – received as much as $1,200 per adult, while South Korea’s central government sent cheques of up to $820 to families in the bottom 70% income bracket. Hong Kong announced a handout of $1,280 per adult; Japan, $931 per person, and Singapore, $422.

Those governments not only directed their COVID relief packages in direct payments to citizens. They guaranteed new loans to businesses hurt by the shutdowns as well. In Ghana however, we only got free water for 3 months, electricity subsidy for a month or so, and some interest rate cuts by the Central Bank. And for those pittances, we got charged 1% health recovery levy in addition to an existing 5% tax on goods and services and an unflinching 12.5% VAT on the amount and taxes thus charged. And when we complained, a 1.5% electronic transaction levy was imposed further. While other countries sent cheques to their beloved citizens, our government sent us taxes and levies to mitigate the effects of the pandemic on itself and itself alone. As if the Ghanaian government and its spending elite were the only ones to have lost economic grounds to the pandemic.

And every time I hear Ogyam speak of COVID as the reason we are so broke right now, that Adwoa Yankey song comes to mind.

Nnyɛ awo nko na wo na ewu!

We might just sing that song at the next polls, or failing that, whatever the campaign song will be in 2024, which right now seems to be imbedded with five leap years.



The work of devolving political, administrative and fiscal authority to local governments that begun in 1988 seems to have called for what might be the biggest showdown in referendum history in this apampamu-store republic. And while MMDCE elections since then have barely made the headlines – other than Assemblymen-wannabes sharing cola nuts and making local gin bitters loosely available in village squares and apio bars respectively – this referendum on the same local government decentralization process is a differing cup of tea.

It all started in 2016 when the current government in its manifesto promised to oversee the direct election of MMDCEs within 24 months of coming into office. Even that did not so much as pique social media curiosity until, probably in search of some trumpian quid pro quo, the government decided to require partisan MMDCE elections as a trade-off to relinquishing the power to appoint our abronye DCEs. Because the 1992 Constitution frowned on partisan elections at that level, the government needed to hold a referendum to amend Article 55(3) of the Constitution.

The offending article reads: “Subject to the provisions of this article, a political party is free to participate in shaping the political will of the people, to disseminate information on political ideas, social and economic programmes of a national character, and sponsor candidates for elections to any public office other than to District Assemblies or lower local government units.”

This is what the government wants us to amend by referendum. Whether we vote YES or NO, MMDCEs will in the next district assembly elections be elected from among local MMDCE contenders. We, the People, are only to decide whether we want partisanship contests at that level or whether we want that prohibition in place. Piece of cake, really, but here’s why it’s not:

A nosy lawyer-journalist called Samson Ayenini wrote a piece provoking a No-Campaign that got social media debaters drawing swords and reining in long-forgotten Spartan shields. Since then, everyone else that didn’t give a squirrel’s posterior about the outcome of MMDCE elections, including people like me who have never voted in those elections, have taken up arms and chosen sides in this battle that, if nothing at all, will give Ghanaian future governments pause when it comes to considering referenda as easy ways to give politicians what they want. Even the National House of Chiefs is divided on the matter with the President of the House calling for a No-Vote, and the king from the President’s tribe calling for a Yes-Vote. It’s fair to assume that opinions are split right down the middle on what to do. The governing NPP says to vote hell-YES and the opposition NDC says to vote tweaaa!

H. Kwasi Prempeh, for example believes that “there is room for divergence of opinion as to what might or might not work. If winner-takes-all, loser-opposes-all is one of the underlying causes of the counter-developmental partisanship in our space, as many of us believe, then I don’t see why it is so unreasonable for some to see a YES vote, which opens up the prospect of opposition party participation in direct governance at the local level, as a reasonable antidote to the problem” of partisan politics in Ghana. Many prominent opinion leaders like Franklin Cudjoe of Imani Ghana agree with him. They all argue that the prohibitively non-partisan MMDCE elections is latently partisan anyway and it’s best to cement our multi-party democracy by extending the canker of partisanship down the district lane. The strongest point for the yea-sayers is that it breaks the culture of winner-takes-all that has bedeviled Ghana’s democratic experiment over the years. The nay-sayers and No-Campaigners say they’d sooner gulp down swine flesh with a swirl of akpeteshie in an Arab state than condone the sickening, disgusting partisanship that dogs national elections at the district level. They swear by the seven gods of Berekusu that this country will go down irredeemably into a despicable quagmire of NDC-NPP politics if we let political parties in.

This Jungle Boy pitches his tent irrevocably in the camp of the No-Vote Campaigners. I don’t believe our forebears forsook gari and beans and laid down their lives so our thieving, conniving politicians can sweep into every facet of governance in this republic. That would be a terrible waste of gobe.

But there’s one important thing Yes-Vote campaigners fail to understand about No-Vote campaigners. Yes, we engage you on Facebook and Twitter and pretend to offer this or that intellectual thought as our reason for choosing to vote NO. But deep down in your guts, we know you know that for us, this referendum isn’t so much about the issues at stake as it is about having our say, passing a vote, and saying our honest-to-jollof view about partisan political participation in this country. We simply refuse to give up the relishing pleasure – the orgasmic thrill – to give Ghanaian politicians the middle finger with a capital “F” in this referendum enterprise. We choose to not pass up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have our true say, never mind that FVCK YOU is not really on the referendum ballot. For us, NO and a brown smudge are synonymous with a big, red, lipstick-wearing middle finger. And if the politicians don’t like it, what do they plan to do about it?


So, next time you argue with a No-Voter, remember, Yessies, that it is all truly about our inalienable right to do a Juli Briskman on Ghana’s teefing politicians. Your heart rates and cardiac arrests should improve dramatically with this knowledge.


I am respectfully privileged to extend my greetings as a Christian jungle boy to Pastor Mensa Otabil. I have never met him and I probably never will. Not to worry, though. These Facebook and Internet streets make anything possible. And since God is good, I have a good feeling that my article will find his good self somehow in these good times. I only hope I don’t look to him like an insult in this introduction. I do watch National Geographic so that should place me far off on the right side of a Likert scale between an insult and a non-insult. All this brouhaha involving his role, executive or non-executive, in these financial sector sarcomas got me worried, not so much about him per se, but about the negative impact it was beginning to exert on Christianity and Christian ministry. Make no mistake. It’s making us all look bad. Every single fornicator, thief or adulterer ever rebuked on any subject to do with sin is insulting Christians because of him. Class One Christians who last attended church from the comfort of their homes when Prince Harry wed Meghan are insulting us because of him. Even the atheists, the sasabonsam people, the arch-rebels are all in on it because of him.

And his congregants aren’t helping with all the I Stand with Otabil nonsense. Who stands with the widows, the poor carpenters and truck pushers whose mites and coins filled up the treasury of the misbegotten bank he board-chaired? Who stands with Ghana, in these moments of difficulty trying to fund free SHS for the citizenry? Who stands with our sweat-fueled taxes wasted trying to save his and his shareholders from losing the arrogance that comes from wearing $2,000 suits? Who stands with poor Ama Ghana?

The facts of the reports we have all sighted indicate that under Pastor Otabil’s non-executive watch, whatever that means, Mr. W. A. Essien, the majority shareholder, flouted all banking and risk management rules and treated depositers’ and public funds as his personal “piggy bank”, and blew tonnes of Ghana Cedis on dubious acquisitions and well-nigh criminal financial shenanigans, even as far away as Mugabe’s Zimbabwe. At the core of the problem was the weak board oversight rendered of Capital Bank’s risk management oversight functions. That in simple English means Pastor Otabil provided spineless leadership and incompetent oversight of the functions that could have saved poor depositors’ and public funds. This is why the juries in the alleys of Facebook and Twitter find him guilty.

Not because they have proof of his personal, direct contribution to Essien’s remarkable lack of good risk management sense, but because he is the leader and pastor of a church that shows more business sense than all of the consolidated local banks put together. And worse, he is a “man of God”. That title puts him in a better management position than the Chair of the US Federal Reserve Board. We all saw how well Moses executed his executive and non-executive roles leading the Israelites to the Promised Land. They walked through dry land in the Red Sea, for crying out loud. Do you have any idea how hard that is? We haven’t been able to desilt the Korle since I was a kid. This is just how much power and good sense we expect a man of God in a board-Chair position of a bank to exhibit.

Or, failing that, admit his failure in his duties, appeal to his humanness and save all of us other Christians the shame of explaining our God and how He is not responsible for His servant’s failures. This is what a true man of God would do. A true church of God would also suspend Pastor Otabil forthwith. This is why churches with visible one-man founders fall within the ambit of false churches no different from the Obinims of today, but I digress. If for nothing at all, at least for bringing the name of the church and the church’s God into this uncalled-for disrepute, a suspension would have been in order. In a more serious church, this nonsense has little currency.

Take the Church of Pentecost, for example. Those folks don’t play. In that church, the mere sign of fibroid is grounds for suspension for the sins of fornication and of premarital pregnancy. Oversight failures for messing up choir master deposits would have called for outright dismissal. Which is why Dr. Otabil’s “God is Good” response to the financial mess he is alleged to have supervised leaves a sour taste in my jungle Christian mouth.

God is Good sen?

That response is worse than his alleged role and puts him in the same scale as Eli, the High Priest of Israel whose sons, Hophni and Phinehas, stole the best parts of God’s offerings, and had sexual affairs with women right in the church. Amazingly, when all these things were brought to Eli’s attention, his response was the exact same response we have now received from Pastor Otabil – God is Good!

This account is found in the first Book of Samuel, the Prophet of Israel at about 1164 BC. Eli was old, and though the Chief Priest of Israel, probably had a non-executive role in Temple administration in the Church of God, at the time known as the Tabernacle of the Lord, at Shiloh. He had sons, two of whom are described as “corrupt”. They would send their servants around while worshippers offered sacrifices, “with a three-pronged fleshhook… while the meat was boiling”, and have them thrust it into the pot and take for themselves “all that the fleshhook brought up” (1 Samuel 2:12-14). These sons of Eli essentially robbed God, stole from him and engaged in sexual crimes with the worshippers in the House of the Lord. The Bible describes their sins as “very great before the Lord, for men abhorred the offering of the Lord” (1 Sam. 2:17).

In the same way a lot of people are abhorrent of Christians today as a result of the actions and inactions of “men of God” such as Pastor Otabil. The grievousness of their sin was proportional to the disrepute they had inflicted on the cause of justice and righteousness by their evil deeds. The sins of the Sons of Eli got God so angry that he demanded of Eli through a man of God, “Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling place, and honour your sons more than Me, to make yourselves fat with the best of all the offerings of Israel My people?” (1 Sam. 2:29).

Considering the wealth, power and influence today’s men of God wield, and how “fat” they have become at the expense of the people who attend their churches, it is no surprise that the account of Eli and his evil sons is an apt description of Christian churches today. Even worse is the appropriation of God’s resources for dubious gains. How do churches, whose funds belong to the service of God for charity, for schools and for hospitals to alleviate human suffering, invest in banks that are involved in all kinds of ungodly deals including money laundering?

God’s declaration against Eli and his sons was that “in one day they shall die, both of them” (1 Sam. 2:34). Any wonder UT Bank and Capital Bank died in one day and were caputed by GCB? But here comes the shocker. After many years of evil-doing by Hophni and Phinehas, Eli somehow believed that he was nothing but a non-executive actor absolved in the whole saga. His behaviour seemed to have irked the Good Lord more, for in a vision to the young boy Samuel, the Lord said, “In that day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them. And therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” (1 Sam 3:12-14; emphasis mine)

I believe that the only way Dr. Otabil walks away from all this without prosecution is because we live in an apampamu-store republic. A republic that sponsors Mecca and Jerusalem pilgrimages lack the bold, hairy and audacious gonads required to haul someone like Pastor Otabil before the Courts.


Ain’t gonna happen la.

Notice that in the Courts of Heaven, Eli didn’t get of that easily. But the worse thing in the biblical account equitable to Pastor Otabil’s miserable apology of a response happened when Samuel fearfully told High Priest Eli what the Lord had revealed to him.

After much coaxing, the boy opened up to the priest and declared the judgements of the Lord. Guess what Eli the priest said: “It is the Lord. Let Him do what seems good to Him.” (1 Sam. 3:18) Clearly we have a more contemporary rendition of Eli’s words in the face of God’s imminent judgment in the response suggestions offered by Pastor Otabil to his congregation who clearly idolize, adore and worship him.

“God is Good!”

In Eli’s response, he seemed lackadaisical, uncaring of, and unimpressed with God’s declared judgment. A concerned priest would have done all in his power to put his house in order like the people of Nineveh, to avert God’s wrath. The man of God seemed completely unconcerned in his response, “It is the Lord. Let Him do what seems good to Him”. Pastor Otabil goes a step further beyond uncaring to presumption. To declare presumptuously in the face of damning allegations that “God is Good” is (1) to pretend that the loss of almost 10-percent of our GDP under his spineless board leadership is an easy thing to sweep under ICGC’s Christ Temple altar; (2) to act like the rest of us interrogating the issue are as gullible, bereft of independent thought and in awe of him as are his ICGC congregants; and (3) to theologize that our Father in Heaven, whose benevolence feeds the little sparrow and sustains the leviathans of the deep seas; who notices every injustice done to the widow and the orphan, and excuses not the thieving, corrupt under dealings of politicians and judges, supports the criminal and nation-wrecking allegations of financial impropriety discovered under Otabil’s so-called non-executive chairmanship.

How blasphemous!

Now, I do not wish any evil on Dr. Mensa Otabil. I wish him long life and personal prosperity, although I wish his prosperity would spare us losses to our GDP. But in the Biblical account of Eli and his evil Sons, the High Priest and his sons died horribly. And the two devils – Hophni and Phinehas – died before their high priest father. As we speak, Capital and UT have died horribly (and may the CEOs whose foolishness caused their demise grow boils on their behinds while the state seeks to prosecute). It therefore stands to reasonable expectations that the real culprit – their high priest mentor whose silence led to the festering of their moral rots  – follows suit.

The “God is Good” response is unfortunate, to say the least, and despicable in both Biblical and moral examination. Watching the video, I had no doubt that I was looking at a man who believes himself untouchable where his role in the on-going scandal is concerned. Even worse is the insult delivered to those of us asking the questions for which his misguided answer seeks to respond.

Please keep us non-ICGC Christians out of this nonsense. Pastor Otabil’s latest response neither makes sense in the light of the issues or in the light of the Bible, and not all of us are dumb enough to offer “God is Good” as a legitimate Christian response to a report that alleges nation-wrecking infractions. We dissociate ourselves from such behaviour and demand full scale prosecutions of everyone, executive or otherwise, whose actions led to these gargantuan losses.

Only then can we all agree to a resounding “God is Good!”

Kwesi Bekoe Amissah-Arthur, the outgoing Vice President, is the most elusive species of the presidency of John Dramani Mahama. His elusiveness trumps those of leopards of both the Ngorongoro and Serengeti National Parks put together, and this phenomenon has earned him the title of the most asked-about member of the government of the National Democratic Congress. Not a week passed on social media between 2015 and 2016 without at least a dozen comments, witty statements, demands and requests concerning his whereabouts and his role in the NDC government. His disappearing powers did not become as much the subject of Facebook and Twitter hunting parties and search-and-rescue expeditions as it did after Dr. Mahamadu Bawumia launched his assault of 170 questions. Memes pictured the poor second gentleman being hauled out of caves, basements and sewerage pipes to answer Bawumia’s unapologetic questions.
For those of you who somehow missed his #1 achievement of making it unto the list of important people enumerated in the Onaapo campaign song, Kwesi Bekoe Amissah-Arthur is the 5th Vice President of the 4th Republic of Ghana. Before his assumption of the vice presidency in 2012, he was Governor of the Bank of Ghana, and his impressive CV nose-dives after that fact.

The question we will seek to answer in this article is how such an elusive person became vice president of Ghana, and what role he could have played in the shameful defeat of President John Mahama in the 2016 polls.

Why was Amissah-Arthur selected as Vice President?

Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia. That is the simple, straightforward answer to why Amissah-Arthur was selected as vice president by President Mahama.

During the 2012 election campaign, and even as far back as the 2008 contest, it was apparent that the Akufo-Addo & Mahamudu Bawumia composition, beyond the incidences of NDC rigging, was too powerful to defeat (as would later on be proven, in 2016). The Mills-Mahama presidential alliance in 2008 did nothing to inspire confidence in economic growth and stability, so when the opportunity presented itself after the demise of the good Prof to realign the presidency, the lack of a match for the brilliant Bawumia became too painfully evident for the new president who had hardly recovered from his shock at his unexpected presidential fortune. And Paa Kwesi Amissah-Arthur appeared as the most powerful choice after a thorough search through the rank and file of the NDC’s topmost brains.

Right after his selection, and soon after winning the 2012 presidential elections, it became apparent that the only reason Amissah-Arthur was selected vice president was for the political advantage of a match for the good Dr. Bawumia. This is because the economy took an immediate plunge for the worse after the swearing-in of January 7, 2013. And try as they could, Mahama and his elusive veep could not right the nose-dive of the Ghanaian economy. This forced Finance Minister Terkper to rush back to the same IMF the previous NPP government had gone to a lot of trouble to divorce after our brief but rewarding affair with the HIPC initiative. All this while, Amissah-Arthur as head of the government’s economic (mis)management team seemed powerless to stop a declining economy and even safeguard the country’s currency. And then dumsor struck like a thunderbolt. If anything, that jolt of economic shock revealed the asinine incompetence of the Mahama-led administration’s handling of the Ghanaian economy, leading not a few to question the economic management skills of Amissah-Arthur touted by the 2012 NDC campaign.

Things then came to a head when Dr. Bawumia began to directly antagonize the vice president in one lecture after another, wreaking havoc on the NDC’s policies and breaking and chewing into irredeemable pieces every assumption of economic acuity by the ruling government. By January 2016, and after the inevitable exposure of the fallacies in any assumption that Amissah-Arthur was in the presidency to both heal the economy and freeze Bawumia’s blazing effect in opposition, the good vice president had become a scarce commodity at the forefront of anything involving the NDC administration. Time and time again, Ghanaians began to wonder where he was, and it was not uncommon to have Facebook folks remind everyone that Amissah-Arthur was vice president of the Ghanaian Republic. Even those who hated all that the NDC and President Mahama stood for began to offer prayers for the long life and prosperity of the president. The idea that Amissah-Arthur would be president should anything amiss befall Mahama was a nightmare no one wished for. That’s just how really bad the light surrounding the vice president had gotten to.

What Did Amissah-Arthur Contribute to Mahama’s shameful shellacking?

Absolutely nothing.

Contrary to interesting opinion on the matter, this jungle boy posits that Vice President Amissah-Arthur is in no way, whether by omission or commission, responsible for Mahama’s debilitating trouncing at the 2016 polls. And my reasons for holding this position are simply that “Indecisive managers may not accomplish much. But on the long list of things they don’t do is this: get fired.” – Jared Sandberg.

True, the shameful performance of the NDC in the 2016 elections is a firing of Amissah-Arthur as well as John Mahama off the top job of this country, but we need to understand why Amissah-Arthur was content to remain incognito. Under the NDC government, and specifically under the presidency of Mahama, the vice presidential office was treated with less respect and honour than it garnered when Vice President Aliu Mahama of fond memory held it. Under the NPP, you would be egregiously mistaken to think that if you invited President Kuffour to a function that he couldn’t honour, he would send Alhaji Aliu Mahama in his stead. No way. If you didn’t invite the specific office of Vice President then you were in trouble to find a presidential presence at your function. The two offices were distinctly separate and competent in each’s own right, and President Kuffour was honoured to have had Aliu Mahama working with him as his near-equal. Not so the office of Vice President under the NDC. Rumours were rife to Koku Anyidoho, times without number, disrespecting the person and office of Vice President John Mahama when he [Anyidoho] was the HBIC (Head-Bull-In-Charge] of the Presidency at the Castle under Mills. Was it any wonder then that Koku disappeared off the radar in the first few years of the Mahama presidency until just before the NDC’s Congress when he stood and won the deputy General Secretary position?

So I don’t believe that Amissah-Arthur contributed to Mahama’s whipping at the polls. If anything at all, he did well to condition the NDC to the possibility of defeat when he called on pollsters to desist from making false claims that certain parties were going to win the 2016 elections. He may also have been prevented from bringing his experience to bear in the involvement of Ibrahim Mahama, the president’s brother, in the running of the affairs of state and of party. But let there be no doubt: Amissah-Arthur contributed immensely to ensuring that a competent government was voted for in 2016. And that is a good thing, whether or not it’s a blessing NDC folks and their infuriating neutral sidekicks will disagree with. And for this, we will miss Amissah-Arthur immeasurably. No one could pull a David Copperfield on the Ghanaian political stage better than he could. Now, we have to find someone else to laugh at who is so helplessly laughable-at in spite of themselves. I wonder who that will be…

Until then, here’s a reminder of how real Kwesi Bekoe Amissah-Arthur might have been in a government of delusional administrators:

Tuesday, November 29. FSH

The president reaches for the champagne glass after the birthday toast. It’s time for one more sip before he retires to prepare for the presidential debate. The ministers gathered around him make way for his special aide. The aide whispers briefly into the president’s right ear just as he lifts the glass to his lips. He sputters and almost chokes on his drink. He drops the glass, his face red with rage, invisible beneath his African skin. He lets fly a few curses, culled from every known shrine in the Bole area.

Julius: Everything alright, sir?

Oga: Hell No!

Koku: What’s wrong, Mr. President?

Oga: It’s that damn Bugri Naabu.

Amissah-Arthur: Bugri who???

Oga: That useless NPP Northen Regional Chairman we paid to resign and declare that Addo-D was a dictator who hated northerners like a religion. He’s blown the lid on the whole thing.

All: He did what?!

Amissah-Arthur: Why the hell did we do such a thing?

Koku: (Holding his head in his palms) What did he say?

Oga: Everything apparently. And the NPP has called a press conference exposing the whole affair. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that snake. I’d like to get my hands on Bugri’s potbelly right now. I’d sweat a few pounds off him.

Terkper: What do we do?

Koku: (Shrugs. Trying hard to keep himself under control) The usual.

Amissah-Arthur: Which is…?

Oga: (Looking at PK with something close to hatred) We deny it flatly. No ifs, no buts. And call the son-of-the-north a damn liar.

Terkper: How would we deny that we gave him that much money? What about the papers surrounding the vehicle transfer and so forth?

Koku: Never mind that. All we have to do is deny it and call him names. We’ve done this before. Just leave Bugri to me and Adams.

Kwakye: What’s this going to do to us? We have a week to the elections.

Amissah-Arthur: I know the answer to that one.

Oga: (Scowls deeply at Amissah-Arthur) What?!

Amissah-Arthur: (Calmly grabs a glass of champagne, sips it with a stretched out slurp, returns the president’s foul gaze with a cool, steady one, crosses a leg in his chair and proclaims, while swirling his champagne in the glass) WE ARE CERTIFIABLY SCREWED.

The End.

In spite of overwhelming vilification, insults, fabrications and concoctions that included anything available to the ruling National Democratic Congress (NDC) – from his petite stature to the shape of his head and the biological attributes of his immediate family, to allegations of drug use and drug-peddling, to allegations of sexual and violent tendencies – Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo has been elected the 5th President of the 4th Ghanaian republic. And what a trouncing John Dramani Mahama received at the polls!
Four years ago, 300 thousand votes separated the two in a disputed presidential election, but the astute lawyer, diplomat and patriot shellacked his opponent by an unprecedented one million votes and a couple thousand thrown in for good measure by the Ghanaian electorate.
But the 72 hours of the entire voting, collation and declaration process was not without the drama of Charlotte Osei, Chair of the arbitrating Electoral Commission of Ghana. At the end of the entire process, I was left with little doubt that the electoral results did not go the way she envisaged, and my clues, haunches and gut feelings come from nowhere else but her amatory, sassy lip-gloss. Let’s examine the evidence:
  1. Good Charlotte Lip-gloss
December 7 this year can be said to have recorded the smoothest, most glitch-free election in the history of Ghana. And I don’t care what anyone else says, especially if that “anyone” is international media who don’t know a droplet of what Ghana stands for. So I say this with a 99-percent conviction rate. This was the best election, characterized by no more than a few squabbles and disagreements, which is why I get pissed off when our illiterate media refers to these as pockets of violence. Nonsense. Even half a pocket of violence leaves at least 25 people dead, mo’ate? So stop repeating the sickening dictum of international media and stick to squabbles and disappointments, but I digress. So Election Day was good. An “A” mark is well-deserved for December 7.  And Charlotte Osei’s lip-gloss that evening was the same as always – a sassy hue between sheer bright and dark gloss, with a pinkish blush to it that had that perfect mesh with her wonderful lip tone. There’s been only three occasions that her lip-gloss went awry, and those three can be categorized as when she lied, when she arrogated to herself more arrogance than the constitution permitted, and when she was declaring the final certified results of the 2016 presidential contest.
  1. Bad Charlotte Lip-Gloss
As soon as Charlotte appeared on TV on December 8, I immediately sensed something was wrong. She seemed to have frantically either chewed or rubbed her lips together. This clearly pushed the lip-gloss outward and made her lips look unfinished. And that was when she claimed the following palpable lies: (1) That the EC’s website had been hacked; (2) That there had been attempts to compromise the results transmission system; (3) That there had been incidences of widespread over-voting in Ashanti; (4) That some parties had refused to sign collation result sheets; and (5) That voter-turn out was at an all-time low of 49%. Let’s debunk these frivolously ridiculous statements and restore Charlotte’s lip-gloss to their healthy choler, unless of course those statements were designed to aid in something more sinister. Like the final desperate collation-rigging plans of the ruling party or such other nonsense as will from time to time be verified under scrutiny. Was the EC’s website hacked? On 1:58 AM of December 8, 2016, the EC tweeted, “We deplore the attempt to hack the EC’s website. Please respect the integrity and independence of the EC”. This short statement got my hackles up, and was pregnant more with what it said than with what it didn’t say. Who attempted the hacking? How did they attempt it? What did the EC know about the hackers? How could it assume that the hackers were Ghanaian and needed to respect the independence and integrity of the EC? Would foreign hackers give a rat’s posterior about integrity of the EC? Or – and here’s where I’d put my money – was that misguided tweet the EC’s knee-jerk reaction to the NPP’s press conference announcing the figures that put their candidate in a trouncing lead (and would later prove to be supported by the EC’s own declaration)? The NPP’s press conference ended at exactly 1:45 AM. The EC tweeted at 1:58AM. That’s just 13 minutes after the NPP had gotten the Flagstaff House scuttling in all directions with their announcement after a mere 8 hours after the close of polls. Clearly, neither the NDC nor the EC had any idea how effectively competent the NPP’s War Room had been configured to operate by that NASA-trained dude. The EC suddenly came face-to-face with their incompetence at collation. Heck, even the media were way ahead of them in getting provisional results in, and Charlotte and her lip-gloss found themselves ball-watching like a bunch of incompetent quarterbacks. With a mere hundred thousand dollars, the NPP’s system was unimpeachable. But the EC could not even safeguard its own website when it had been awarded a whopping 800 Million Ghana Cedis of our taxes. Add to that, the NPP was announcing a flawless victory. The idea that the NPP’s – and the media’s – superior collation methods exposed the EC’s ineptitude at that exercise at way less the cost was not as lip-gloss effacing as the idea that her sweetheart, her appointing authority, her yori-yori and darling boy John Mahama was going to go down in history as the most flawlessly trounced incumbent in an African election. Shocked, appalled and ashamed, she gets someone in her outfit to tweet that the NPP had somehow hacked into the EC’s system to get the results. Of course she didn’t mention the NPP (like she would have tasted her smoothness level paa), but there was no doubt who she was trying to finger. Right after that, a series of blunders followed in a crazy choreography between Charlotte’s lip-gloss and Dzakpasu’s dry lips to cover up the first blunder. The truth is that the EC’s website was never hacked. The website’s bandwidth was simply not enough to survive the overwhelming traffic flowing there in search of some results, and it had no other choice than to fold in on itself. But Charlotte chose to lie about everything. The first lie, as mentioned, was the tweet. This was followed by allegations of over-voting and the threat to review some results. This threat came in because the NDC was shocked that, whilst its results from the Volta Region fell abysmally beyond usual figures, results from the Ashanti and Eastern Regions remained mostly unchanged. My hunch is that the NDC assumed that the NPP had been massaging NPP votes in the Ashanti Region the way the NDC has been doing in the Volta Region over the years. It therefore felt that over-voting had to be the logical conclusion from the shocking phenomenon, and persuaded Charlotte’s lip-gloss to assume an unsightly sheen. This is what led to the third blunder of the declaration of a 49% voter turn-out, when she was only probably repeating the 49% Volta turn-out whispered to her by the FSH. The media immediately subjected her false declaration to some bashing (to put it mildly), forcing her to retract and to amend. But to cover up the fact that they had been rigging the elections in Volta, as well as to reduce the palpable shame that forced Lordina Mahama to hide in the water closet when Mahama met with those pathetic white-clad supporters who were organized to assure him of his “comfortable lead”, the NDC and the EC needed to sell the idea of a low Volta turn-up, which, happily for me, caused Charlotte’s lip-gloss that eba-rice-ment of shameful proportions. Then came the biggest blunder of all – the failure to declare the results after 210 constituencies had still put Nana Addo in an unassailable lead over John Onaapo Mahama and, in its stead, report at a press conference that the electronic transmission had to be stopped due to what the EC suspected was a compromise of the system, for which a switch to manual verification of pink sheets was necessitated. What utter rubbish! 3. Monstrous Charlotte Lip-gloss The little mole I had planted where the gloss-saliva combo collected in the corners of Charlotte’s mouth revealed that while at 210 constituencies, the other Commissioners began to pile up pressure for her to declare. They were shocked when she told them she had to go home and change her dress first. Eish. And it took her three hours to do so! Ataa mɛi. Even with that, when she was declaring, there was no denying the monstrosity of her maquillage and lip-gloss. She could not have spent three hours in the shower la. I am pretty sure she was trying to let her darling boy know that the defeat was beyond “riggable” margins, and sweetly persuaded him to concede so he doesn’t get overly embarrassed by her declaration. When the agreement was reached, Charlotte forgot to carry her Q-Tips with her to swipe the excess gloss, skin, saliva, or whatever-the-heck-it-is off the corners and inner rims of her mouth and flopped unceremoniously into her chair on TV to declare the results with messed-up lip-gloss. By this time, President Mahama had conceded, and well-nigh made Charlotte’s – and her lip-gloss’s – declaration nothing but a constitutional declaration without its usual power and pomp. Charlotte needs to come clean. Her attitude and the EC’s shenanigans have produced an overall C-minus grade for an election that could easily have peaked A-plus. And, most importantly, she needs to be careful how she handles her lip-gloss when she’s up to no good. My entire crush on Charlotte is based on the sexy, sassy wahala of her lip-gloss. Take that away, even for a second, and I get broken hearted. #Lip-gloss Love #Lip-gloss is bae #Onaapo

Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra-Ghana. Desperado /dɛspəˈrɑːdəʊ/ noun. a desperate or reckless person, especially a criminal. Early 17th century: pseudo-Spanish alteration of the obsolete noun desperate. Both desperate and desperado originally denoted a person in despair or in a desperate situation, hence someone made reckless by despair. – Emphasis mine. Now that the definition of desperado has been established, let’s cut to the chase. On or around June 22, 2016, Johnson Asiedu Nketia, General Secretary of the NDC ordered all his presidential and parliamentary aspirants not to participate in any debate organized by the Institute of Economic Affairs (IEA). His chest-thumping directive was specifically a direct result of the NDC’s unhappiness with the IEA’s decision to hold a separate debate for flagbearers of the two leading political parties, the NPP’s Nana Addo-D and the NDC’s John-M. The President and his party told us that a one-on-one debate between the two candidates is “a public show of disrespect” to Ghanaians and the other presidential aspirants, and would amount to “politics of discrimination” against the other parties. We could all see through the horse-poop, of course. The NDC perceived, correctly at the time, that their aspirant and president of the Republic would be torn to shreds by the opposition leader. Their fear was not exactly without basis. Any opposition candidate would look forward to flaw an incumbent in an election to score publicity and enhance his or her image in the eyes of the voting public. That’s exactly what I would do – show the president to be incompetent by offering better alternatives and expressing myself to be better than him in eloquence, depth of thought, and action. So there was no real surprise in the NDC’s chickening out of the IEA debate, and no one could really fault them for it. Self-preservation before all else, la. Now, let’s fast-track to October 2016. Without any recourse whatsoever to the IEA boycott decision, President Mahama has, on two occasions on TV and on radio, thrown a challenge to the NPP flagbearer to debate him one-on-one, especially on some of the allegations he and Dr. Bawumia have been making against his competence on their nationwide campaign. Political watchers are wondering what has brought about the president’s volte-face, and this jungle boy wants to posit that, in addition to the usually unprincipled, opportunistic, inconsistent attitude to politicking the NDC is known for, the answer to the question is simply DESPERATION. Let’s examine the 7 evidences that prove, with just six weeks to the December 7 polls, that our First Gentleman has turned Desperado.
  1. The NPP’s better form
The NPP campaign is in top gear. They are firing on all cylinders. Momentum is completely on their side. The part that makes our resident Desperado even more anxious is that the potential first and second ladies of the opposition flagbearer and his running mate are even in on the no-holds-barred assault. Hardly had the NDC recovered from Dr. Bawumia’s unrelenting assault than Samira’s startling uppercut had caught them in the gonads. Meanwhile, it is with some effort that Ghanaians remember the name of the country’s vice president, to speak less of his wife’s. Who wouldn’t call for a debate in this desperate situation?
  1. The Crappy Economic Situation
Current economic conditions are not in the NDC’s favour, to say the least, and the NPP have exploited the fact unapologetically. Unless his touted incompetence is so complete that there’s no room for improvement, President Mahama knows he’s been steering a sinking economic boat. Even more damaging for Opana is the irritation of his cabinet on why Vice President Amissah-Arthur has not come out to defend the current economic conditions vigorously. But everyone who correctly hears thunder, sees traffic lights and drinks kalyppo knows that the vice president’s response to Dr. Bawumia’s prognosis on the ailing health of the economy has been poor, inadequate and as impressive as the sound of a rat’s fart in an elephant’s ears. Could anything be more desperate?
  1. The PPP Factor
The intense political activity of the PPP and, at some point the NDP, is making the regional path to victory very difficult for Ogrey. For instance, the PPP’s efforts in the Central Region is making things difficult for the vice president, and Rawlings’s anti-corruption campaign in the Volta Region is enlightening Nyebroskis and making them more aware of shortcomings in the NDC’s  commitment to bring them development. Opana knows the Volta Region will be tough this year, and the NDP’s participation in the elections is also likely to pull votes away from the NDC. As if all these weren’t enough, the NPP’s efforts in the Northern and Upper Regions, led by Dr. Mahamadu Bawumia and his beautiful wife seem to have divided the North. This seems to be only the beginning of troubles. Dr. Bawumia is pulling more crowds than Shatta Wale. That leaves the Greater Accra region, but the region looks poised to repeat the history of 2008. Eastern and Ashanti are declaratorily NPP. Opana must be taking overdoses of martin liver salt from dyspeptic conditions brought on by desperation from knowing all these facts.
  1. Corruption and Thievery
The perception of corruption in the NDC government is now so ingrained on the minds of the electorate that every attempt by the government to shrug off the allegations have proved ineffective. Ogrey knows that corruption is a major battle-ground area in this election but he seems unable to fight the tag. This is because corrupt deals get exposed every week, and Woyome is practically still a free man (as is Dzifa Attivor). Now that Woyome has been hauled before court to either show where his assets are, or spill the beans on all who shared in the illicit booty, the perception of corruption will remain even beyond December 7.
  1. Mahama’s highfaluting Incompetence
No government has been branded as incompetent as the Mahama-led administration. Mahama’s weak response has been to don military boots and wear Commander-in-Chief threadmanship, trying to look tough in his toy-soldier gimmickry. The tag of an incompetent government is so deep-seated, and this point has been hammered by the opposition NPP over and over again, that it has become accepted as true.
  1. The Battle of the Manifestoes
The credibility of the Manifestos presented by the two main political parties is also playing out in the public domain. While that of the NPP seem to be gaining traction, that of the NDC, especially that which seeks to highlight infrastructure development achievements, is being portrayed as phony. Some sections of the media have taken it upon themselves to verify these projects and the verdict out there suggests that infrastructure development has fallen short of promised expectations. What is more damaging to Ogrey’s government is the perception of “artists’ impressions” being paraded as projects that have actually been duly completed. This has smacked of public deceit by the NDC government, adding to the general lack of credibility that is making Mahama desperate.
  1. The fear of Akufo-Addo’s Incorruptibility
There’s no doubt that Nana Akufo-Addo is incorruptible. Ghanaians are projecting his personal unassailability on an NPP government, and the image of an incorruptible leadership is fast gaining ground. With that image also comes the shadow of a clean-up. It is expected that everyone who has had a hand in any deal that has cost this nation a pesewa of its sweat-infused cash-pot will honeymoon at Nsawam at one point or the other. Akufo-Addo as Attorney-General has cleaned up a corrupt system before, and it is expected, although not a campaign message of the opposition, that thievery will be signally punished until every woyomeic cedi is restored. This cannot be summed up better than Dzifa Attivor’s suggestion on a political platform, in the early part of the year, that a win for the NPP would mean a majority of NDC government officials serving time in jail. Nothing could lead to desperation faster than the fear of an NDC-infested prison. So, putting all this together, wouldn’t you be desperate if you were Mahama? Now let’s go back to the bottom part of the earlier definition of desperado – someone made reckless by despair. Yes. The challenge to debate Addo-D is a reckless, desperate one, and it has the familiar tinge of despair with it. Remember the president’s defeatist “I’ve Done My Best” statement the other day? But Mahama sees no other light at the end of the tunnel for him, unless he resorts to intimidating voters on Election Day. But even that has no guarantees for success since such a move may be met with a more violent resistance by electorates who have had enough of his incompetence. And, unlike in a by-election, employing thugs to intimidate a general election is a daunting task. Ghanaians are increasingly considering the ballot box as sacred, and its desecration by thugs has an uncomfortable ring of a repellent lynching to it. That leaves the option of challenging Addo-D to a battle of wits to try and take back some of the lost traction in the race for the Flagstaff House. The sad reality however is this: Ogrey will be totally unarmed in a battle of wits with Addo-D. The opposition leader’s speeches of late are indicative of a depth of thought totally lacking in any speech President Mahama has delivered over the past three years. And Nana Akufo-Addo’s prowess in a debate is unparalleled, especially when there’s no Ayariga tomfoolery this time round. Many years of parliamentary camaraderie between the two should teach Opana that the only thing he will win from a debate with Addo-D is spin-doctor value… the nonsense NDC communicators will spew about whatever jabs Mahama is able to throw at the opposition leader during the debate, just to boost his fallen ratings. And that, sadly, is the psyche of a Desperado. My good friend Akwasi Afrifa Akoto of Facebook sums up, in awesome language, how desperate President John Mahama has become: Mahama’s Hail Mary: A Desperate Call for a Debate In play books of every coach in American Football is a play called the “Hail Mary.” Usually when a team is trailing behind and there is but one second remaining on the clock with only one play left, with the ball more than 70 yards away from the end zone, the offensive coordinator would call the Hail Mary. As soon as the ball is snapped, the Quarterback would try to scramble around to give all his players enough time to get into the end zone before throwing the ball. The rational is that the more players in the end zone, the higher the chances of the ball being caught for a Touch Down-to either send the game into overtime or win the game outright. In soccer, there are similar situations. [A] last corner or last free kick with [barely] anytime left and the team down a goal, all the players including the goalie of the losing team would rush forward into the 18 yard box in an attempt to maximize the chances of scoring to tie the game into extra time or gain a crucial point. The Hail Mary, therefore, is a play-call which signifies desperation. It is a Kamikazi call in an almost improbable no-win situation. It is [an] all or nothing call and thus fails 99 out of [each] 100 times employed. Some coaches would rather kneel or spike the ball to run out the clock, accepting defeat, calmly. On the ground, Mahama knows voters are not buying into his message. And this has become apparent to him after spending much time on the campaign trail cross-country. [He] is … now blaming some media conspiracy for [blacking out] his achievements. His General Secretary is [spending sleepless nights] in the Volta Region, the NDC World bank of all places, publicly begging for votes. In spite of all the propaganda, he is not getting the feedback from the people he would like as he travels around the country. And now, he has run out of options. He has done everything he possibly could… launched his campaign, published a Green Book, out-doored his manifesto, worn soldiers’ uniforms, put up billboards, painted the nation with posters, posed like [Usain] Bolt and still, he is TRAILING behind Addo-D. And time is running out. So like a NFL coach, the president has only one play left. The Hail Mary. And that is what his call for the debate is all about. A last minute, desperate attempt to rally the team to tie or win the game. No wonder the NPP says they’d sooner launch a kalyppo space shuttle than give him the pleasure. Poor, desperate Opana!  

Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra – Ghana Ghana’s democratic history is inundated with checkered obstructions every now and then from military dictatorship and buffoonery. If I am not mistaken in my calculations (I was, at best, an indifferent student of history), we have had 24 of our 59 years smarting under the zombie-spiked whips of military oppression, brutality and bruxism. The last one never really left until 2001. Jerry Rawlings only switched his faded Air force OJs for the more glorious civilian suit and Agortime kente, but the ACDR and the dreaded 64th Battalion remained, beating demonstrators of the famous 1995 Kume Preko demonstrations to pulps and shooting peaceful demonstrators in the chest and (specifically as they were ordered to do) in the genitals. Oh, we remember too well the brutish abandon with which our human dignity was trampled on and fed to the dogs when people whose only route to anything resembling intellectual power and influence was through the barrel of older versions of my Kalashnikov. Which is one of the reasons this country will never again tolerate a military coup without a fight that will, like Turkey, make them understand just who is actually in charge of this country’s destiny, but I digress. 2001 ushered in all freedoms – the unfettered freedom of the press being the most admired. And it granted to everyone in this country, without let or hindrance, the right to say whatever the heck they wanted, however the heck they wanted to say it, and anywhere the heck they wanted, about the way they believed the course of our Republic needed to be charted. The 64th Battalion was disbanded with alacrity, and the Ghana Military, for once in their hitherto constitutionally miserable existence, suddenly understood what their proper place in the Ghanaian society was – under the rest us. (After all, wasn’t it our hard-earned taxes that paid for their very drawers?) For these reasons and more, John Agyekum Kuffour never wore military garb. He stood at all parades as tall as a giant, majestic in civilian garb, and civilian garb only. His towering form, his proclivity for Asante Bonwire kente, and his incisive eyes bore true faith and allegiance to the fact that he was Commander-in-Chief of the Ghana Armed Forces as a civilian. And as a civilian, he had the dignity and power to command the nation’s forces. And he was, by explicit constitutional design, above all the Generals and Captains and Wing Commanders of the Ghana Armed Forces. He didn’t need camo to prove nada. Same with Prof. Atta Mills. Although weaker of physical composition than his predecessor, the tottering Prof. Mills was a hundred times more powerful than Colonels by the scores, Captains by the dozens and Generals without number of the GAF. And all this in his plain-coloured political suit. Neither Kuffour nor Mills went down the infantile road of donning military garb. They knew their places, and did not, under any circumstances, seek to undermine their powerful positions as civilian heads of state with any military threadmanship. No childish horseplay attended their relationship to the GAF, and they certainly were smarter than the cheap theatricality and imprudent small-boys-playing-soldiers stunt the current occupier of the nation’s highest office seem to have arrived unabashedly at overnight. I would not here begin to go down the road of the legal impropriety of a civilian donning military garb in Ghana. Someone please tell me where the honour is in a civilian wearing military uniform here? Besides the fact that a person that does so gets a prejudicial beating by soldiers in this Republic, what is so honourable, outside of the honourable service of our gallant Officers and Men, about wearing camos and government boots? In other jurisdictions, doing so raises awareness of, and respect for the people who volunteer, sign up for, and put their lives on the line for a country. In the United States, numbers of people looking to sign up for military service is declining by the thousands. The military is lucky to have people sporting their garb in solidarity. But in Ghana, military service is more a search for economic prospects in contemporary times than any real desire on the part of soldiers to lay down lives for the good of civilians. The naked truth is that acceptance into the Ghana Armed Forces is so ethnically and nepotically polarized that people apply to get in with a tall list of back-ups and higher-ups should they get kicked out at any stage of the selection process, and for as little as jerking back quickly because a female medic was grabbing one’s genitals too quickly during medic exams. President John Mahama does neither his civilian power nor his Commander-in-Chief status any honour by his military threadmanship stunts and toy-soldier gimmickry. The president plays too darn much! Military facilities and events deserve better gravity, a seriousness commensurate with the highest task of safeguarding the territorial integrity of a nation. And that has been lacking these two times the president has gotten involved in this tomfoolery. Any GAF Officer of high station whose voice contributed to this hoopla needs to resign with immediate effect. It is, in my not-so-humble opinion, the depths of treason to stand aside, unconcerned, as your Commander-in-Chief makes a mockery of himself. And if he, as president, cannot find it in himself to get off the playground, he should step aside so his betters may lead this country with the gravity required to overcome our increasing economic and socio-political doldrums. Onukpa bɛ shĩa aloo? And, while we’re at it, Puss-in-Boots did far more for his master, in boots and jaunty feathered hat, than Opana-in-Berets has done for our economy. Let’s get off the playground and be serious, for Pete’s sake. Argh!