AfricanJungleKing
The Jungle is Neutral
The past three years haven’t been a good time to be a journalist in Ghana. It seems every journalist walking around has a sign on their forehead that reads, “BEAT ME”, and boy do they get beat! (in African-American slang). The Police Administration says they lack the intelligence to find the policemen who cracked a Multimedia journalist’s skull; the courts […]
The first time I ever shook hands with a girl who wore longclaws – you know, those dastardly long nails, hard as bone, and capable of taking you into the clinic for tetanus shots if you snapped their fingers the Ghanaian way of greeting – I believed with all my heart those nails were designed to pluck out rapists’ eyes. […]
Sometimes I feel I am a total stranger in “this our country Ghana”. I spend three weeks of each month in the jungle so I tend to miss all the juicy nonsense that make the rounds in the news and on social media until the modin sane have gained full throttle. Usually, one of my more perverse WhatsApp platforms would […]
Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra-Ghana. Desperado /dɛspəˈrɑːdəʊ/ noun. a desperate or reckless person, especially a criminal. Early 17th century: pseudo-Spanish alteration of the obsolete noun desperate. Both desperate and desperado originally denoted a person in despair or in a desperate situation, hence someone made reckless by despair. – Emphasis mine. Now that the definition of desperado has been established, […]
Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra – Ghana Ghana’s democratic history is inundated with checkered obstructions every now and then from military dictatorship and buffoonery. If I am not mistaken in my calculations (I was, at best, an indifferent student of history), we have had 24 of our 59 years smarting under the zombie-spiked whips of military oppression, brutality and bruxism. […]
Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra-GHANA We’re back at it all over again, aren’t we? We’re back to the very beginning of the string of foolishness and downright ridiculousness that is the stock-in-trade of how the Ghanaian government has handled the issue of the Montie Fools. The never-ending saga of the barbecue of the trio, who were grilled, peppered and […]
Dear Kwesi Kyei Darkwah, I am no fan of yours, but I have been meaning to write to you for a looong time. I am a very busy man, you see? I run a business that takes men and women of every imaginable shade, colour and creed, and I introduce them to life in the deepest recesses of the Ghanaian […]
Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Journalist, Business Person, Jungle Boy Chupachups Accra-GHANA First off, if your response as soon as you saw the heading of this article was, “Tofiakwa! God forbid!” then you really need to be taken out and shot by the next available terrorist. When the assault is launched on Ghana (and I will soon give you several […]
By JayJay D. Segbefia, Accra-GHANA Journalist, Business Person, Jungle Boy Apparently, there are many diplomatic ways to say NONSENSE, and that makes little sense to me. I mean, if you mean to say something, why not just go ahead and say it? After all, do our elders not say, “It is no insult to say a dead man is dead”? […]
Dear President John D. Mahama, Your Excellency Your Majesty Nana Atopiah Commander-In-Chief of Goats in Purgatory Etc. Etc. It’s not like I couldn’t have delivered this letter to you in the Flagstaff House, you see? It’s just that I don’t trust the people around your goat-skinned throne, you understand? And so I am writing you this open letter where […]