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KalashniBlog
Sometimes I feel I am a total stranger in “this our country Ghana”. I spend three weeks of each month in the jungle so I tend to miss all the juicy nonsense that make the rounds in the news and on social media until the modin sane have gained full throttle.

Usually, one of my more perverse WhatsApp platforms would have discussed the issues, tried and passed judgment long before I find out what’s been going on. Catching up on a thousand chats can lead to bipolar deficiencies, I tell you, and nothing can generate lengthier chats than discussions of a sex tape gone viral.

Two particularly vile issues come to mind. The first concerns Abena Korkor, who came to some social media prominence when, while standing for election as president of the Students Representative Council (SRC) of the University of Cape Coast (UCC), she circulated her own nude videos. The shock and awe she was expecting from exposing her body in those nudies backfired though. Her electoral dreams were incinerated beyond salvageable ashes by that singularly unwise move. More recently, she has made the social media list of modin sane by alleging to have been involved in over a hundred infractions of engaging in sexual activity for a fee, with more than two score men, over a dozen of whom would qualify as Ghanaian celebrities. Screen shots of her clearly-mentally-deranged confessions took over Facebook and WhatsApp alone for a week.

Then there was Afia Schwarzenegger, a media person with an acidic tongue and TV shows full of sickening sexual innuendoes unfit for the consumption of any society with its head screwed on properly. Her nude videos were circulated over ten million times, in which she was seen engaging in lewd acts with an unidentified partner under the threat of an acid bath. When the video was shared on one WhatsApp platform I belonged to, I absolutely refused to download the aberration, to speak less of distributing it. I wanted no part whatsoever in the production and dissemination of stupidity. Many phones would engage that video, but mine, and the resources of my time, phone and data was sworn to have no share in the trafficking of that particularly vile sex tape.

The summary descriptions of its content on various platforms and news media were enough to make me lose my breakfast on the prized Persian of my home floor. Whereas I may understand male perverts’ obsessions with sex tapes, nudity, and confessions of sexual exploits, I have a hard time understanding why females download sex tapes and sex scandals. Anyone with a teaspoon of moral brains in their heads know that the true victim of any leaked video of a fornicating duo is the woman. Why, then, were women on platforms the ones who more eagerly shared the videos and visited Abena Korkor’s wall looking for details of her many sexual partners? Surely, it wasn’t to find out if their husbands made the list, was it? Our obsession with these leaked sex tapes and nudies speaks to one thing, of course.

We are a society of sexual perverts. Other than porno addicts, what in goodness name is the fun and gratification in watching two people fornicating? Or, even worse, wasting internet resources in sharing those? There is no maxim more laughable in Ghana than the tag that we’re a Christian nation.

Apuu!

To think that Peter, James and John would have viewed and shared a sex tape – and that we belong to the same stock of faith as they did – is a more dire mental illness symptom than any bipolar hypersexuality. Shame on you! I am here not going to get into the argument of Afia Schwar’s and Abena’s mental state (my personal diagnoses is they belong to an asylum), but to get into the mental state of a country that celebrates sexual scandals and allied stupidity. We have a bestial curiosity towards the mundane, the sickening, the sexually explicit and the morbidly sheepish. That is the reason we share nude videos and share photos of the dead and dying. Can you believe we once even shared videos of toddlers attempting to have sex?

That, my friends, is who we are. A veritable bunch of perverts. Don’t let the tongues and church prayers fool anyone. One thing to note though. None of the intelligent WhatsApp groups I belong shared the videos or talked about them. None. And I’m not here talking about Church platforms where to post one would have been to incur the scathing holier-than-thou rebuke of Sister Michael and Brother Patience. I am talking here about platforms with men and women so professional and mentally acute that they feel it is an unforgiveable insult to waste the time of group members with such foolishness. Even after Abena had deleted her posts from off her Facebook wall, folks in the media and online apologies of news portals continued to feature her deleted posts as newsworthy.

Sick!

Let’s leave Afia and Abena well alone. There are no bigger, sicker perverts than us.

Gross!
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TattleBlog
Kwesi Bekoe Amissah-Arthur, the outgoing Vice President, is the most elusive species of the presidency of John Dramani Mahama. His elusiveness trumps those of leopards of both the Ngorongoro and Serengeti National Parks put together, and this phenomenon has earned him the title of the most asked-about member of the government of the National Democratic Congress. Not a week passed on social media between 2015 and 2016 without at least a dozen comments, witty statements, demands and requests concerning his whereabouts and his role in the NDC government. His disappearing powers did not become as much the subject of Facebook and Twitter hunting parties and search-and-rescue expeditions as it did after Dr. Mahamadu Bawumia launched his assault of 170 questions. Memes pictured the poor second gentleman being hauled out of caves, basements and sewerage pipes to answer Bawumia’s unapologetic questions.
For those of you who somehow missed his #1 achievement of making it unto the list of important people enumerated in the Onaapo campaign song, Kwesi Bekoe Amissah-Arthur is the 5th Vice President of the 4th Republic of Ghana. Before his assumption of the vice presidency in 2012, he was Governor of the Bank of Ghana, and his impressive CV nose-dives after that fact.

The question we will seek to answer in this article is how such an elusive person became vice president of Ghana, and what role he could have played in the shameful defeat of President John Mahama in the 2016 polls.

Why was Amissah-Arthur selected as Vice President?

Dr. Mahamudu Bawumia. That is the simple, straightforward answer to why Amissah-Arthur was selected as vice president by President Mahama.

During the 2012 election campaign, and even as far back as the 2008 contest, it was apparent that the Akufo-Addo & Mahamudu Bawumia composition, beyond the incidences of NDC rigging, was too powerful to defeat (as would later on be proven, in 2016). The Mills-Mahama presidential alliance in 2008 did nothing to inspire confidence in economic growth and stability, so when the opportunity presented itself after the demise of the good Prof to realign the presidency, the lack of a match for the brilliant Bawumia became too painfully evident for the new president who had hardly recovered from his shock at his unexpected presidential fortune. And Paa Kwesi Amissah-Arthur appeared as the most powerful choice after a thorough search through the rank and file of the NDC’s topmost brains.

Right after his selection, and soon after winning the 2012 presidential elections, it became apparent that the only reason Amissah-Arthur was selected vice president was for the political advantage of a match for the good Dr. Bawumia. This is because the economy took an immediate plunge for the worse after the swearing-in of January 7, 2013. And try as they could, Mahama and his elusive veep could not right the nose-dive of the Ghanaian economy. This forced Finance Minister Terkper to rush back to the same IMF the previous NPP government had gone to a lot of trouble to divorce after our brief but rewarding affair with the HIPC initiative. All this while, Amissah-Arthur as head of the government’s economic (mis)management team seemed powerless to stop a declining economy and even safeguard the country’s currency. And then dumsor struck like a thunderbolt. If anything, that jolt of economic shock revealed the asinine incompetence of the Mahama-led administration’s handling of the Ghanaian economy, leading not a few to question the economic management skills of Amissah-Arthur touted by the 2012 NDC campaign.

Things then came to a head when Dr. Bawumia began to directly antagonize the vice president in one lecture after another, wreaking havoc on the NDC’s policies and breaking and chewing into irredeemable pieces every assumption of economic acuity by the ruling government. By January 2016, and after the inevitable exposure of the fallacies in any assumption that Amissah-Arthur was in the presidency to both heal the economy and freeze Bawumia’s blazing effect in opposition, the good vice president had become a scarce commodity at the forefront of anything involving the NDC administration. Time and time again, Ghanaians began to wonder where he was, and it was not uncommon to have Facebook folks remind everyone that Amissah-Arthur was vice president of the Ghanaian Republic. Even those who hated all that the NDC and President Mahama stood for began to offer prayers for the long life and prosperity of the president. The idea that Amissah-Arthur would be president should anything amiss befall Mahama was a nightmare no one wished for. That’s just how really bad the light surrounding the vice president had gotten to.

What Did Amissah-Arthur Contribute to Mahama’s shameful shellacking?

Absolutely nothing.

Contrary to interesting opinion on the matter, this jungle boy posits that Vice President Amissah-Arthur is in no way, whether by omission or commission, responsible for Mahama’s debilitating trouncing at the 2016 polls. And my reasons for holding this position are simply that “Indecisive managers may not accomplish much. But on the long list of things they don’t do is this: get fired.” – Jared Sandberg.

True, the shameful performance of the NDC in the 2016 elections is a firing of Amissah-Arthur as well as John Mahama off the top job of this country, but we need to understand why Amissah-Arthur was content to remain incognito. Under the NDC government, and specifically under the presidency of Mahama, the vice presidential office was treated with less respect and honour than it garnered when Vice President Aliu Mahama of fond memory held it. Under the NPP, you would be egregiously mistaken to think that if you invited President Kuffour to a function that he couldn’t honour, he would send Alhaji Aliu Mahama in his stead. No way. If you didn’t invite the specific office of Vice President then you were in trouble to find a presidential presence at your function. The two offices were distinctly separate and competent in each’s own right, and President Kuffour was honoured to have had Aliu Mahama working with him as his near-equal. Not so the office of Vice President under the NDC. Rumours were rife to Koku Anyidoho, times without number, disrespecting the person and office of Vice President John Mahama when he [Anyidoho] was the HBIC (Head-Bull-In-Charge] of the Presidency at the Castle under Mills. Was it any wonder then that Koku disappeared off the radar in the first few years of the Mahama presidency until just before the NDC’s Congress when he stood and won the deputy General Secretary position?

So I don’t believe that Amissah-Arthur contributed to Mahama’s whipping at the polls. If anything at all, he did well to condition the NDC to the possibility of defeat when he called on pollsters to desist from making false claims that certain parties were going to win the 2016 elections. He may also have been prevented from bringing his experience to bear in the involvement of Ibrahim Mahama, the president’s brother, in the running of the affairs of state and of party. But let there be no doubt: Amissah-Arthur contributed immensely to ensuring that a competent government was voted for in 2016. And that is a good thing, whether or not it’s a blessing NDC folks and their infuriating neutral sidekicks will disagree with. And for this, we will miss Amissah-Arthur immeasurably. No one could pull a David Copperfield on the Ghanaian political stage better than he could. Now, we have to find someone else to laugh at who is so helplessly laughable-at in spite of themselves. I wonder who that will be…

Until then, here’s a reminder of how real Kwesi Bekoe Amissah-Arthur might have been in a government of delusional administrators:

Tuesday, November 29. FSH

The president reaches for the champagne glass after the birthday toast. It’s time for one more sip before he retires to prepare for the presidential debate. The ministers gathered around him make way for his special aide. The aide whispers briefly into the president’s right ear just as he lifts the glass to his lips. He sputters and almost chokes on his drink. He drops the glass, his face red with rage, invisible beneath his African skin. He lets fly a few curses, culled from every known shrine in the Bole area.

Julius: Everything alright, sir?

Oga: Hell No!

Koku: What’s wrong, Mr. President?

Oga: It’s that damn Bugri Naabu.

Amissah-Arthur: Bugri who???

Oga: That useless NPP Northen Regional Chairman we paid to resign and declare that Addo-D was a dictator who hated northerners like a religion. He’s blown the lid on the whole thing.

All: He did what?!

Amissah-Arthur: Why the hell did we do such a thing?

Koku: (Holding his head in his palms) What did he say?

Oga: Everything apparently. And the NPP has called a press conference exposing the whole affair. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that snake. I’d like to get my hands on Bugri’s potbelly right now. I’d sweat a few pounds off him.

Terkper: What do we do?

Koku: (Shrugs. Trying hard to keep himself under control) The usual.

Amissah-Arthur: Which is…?

Oga: (Looking at PK with something close to hatred) We deny it flatly. No ifs, no buts. And call the son-of-the-north a damn liar.

Terkper: How would we deny that we gave him that much money? What about the papers surrounding the vehicle transfer and so forth?

Koku: Never mind that. All we have to do is deny it and call him names. We’ve done this before. Just leave Bugri to me and Adams.

Kwakye: What’s this going to do to us? We have a week to the elections.

Amissah-Arthur: I know the answer to that one.

Oga: (Scowls deeply at Amissah-Arthur) What?!

Amissah-Arthur: (Calmly grabs a glass of champagne, sips it with a stretched out slurp, returns the president’s foul gaze with a cool, steady one, crosses a leg in his chair and proclaims, while swirling his champagne in the glass) WE ARE CERTIFIABLY SCREWED.

The End.
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In spite of overwhelming vilification, insults, fabrications and concoctions that included anything available to the ruling National Democratic Congress (NDC) – from his petite stature to the shape of his head and the biological attributes of his immediate family, to allegations of drug use and drug-peddling, to allegations of sexual and violent tendencies – Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo has been elected the 5th President of the 4th Ghanaian republic. And what a trouncing John Dramani Mahama received at the polls!
Four years ago, 300 thousand votes separated the two in a disputed presidential election, but the astute lawyer, diplomat and patriot shellacked his opponent by an unprecedented one million votes and a couple thousand thrown in for good measure by the Ghanaian electorate.
But the 72 hours of the entire voting, collation and declaration process was not without the drama of Charlotte Osei, Chair of the arbitrating Electoral Commission of Ghana. At the end of the entire process, I was left with little doubt that the electoral results did not go the way she envisaged, and my clues, haunches and gut feelings come from nowhere else but her amatory, sassy lip-gloss. Let’s examine the evidence:
  1. Good Charlotte Lip-gloss
December 7 this year can be said to have recorded the smoothest, most glitch-free election in the history of Ghana. And I don’t care what anyone else says, especially if that “anyone” is international media who don’t know a droplet of what Ghana stands for. So I say this with a 99-percent conviction rate. This was the best election, characterized by no more than a few squabbles and disagreements, which is why I get pissed off when our illiterate media refers to these as pockets of violence. Nonsense. Even half a pocket of violence leaves at least 25 people dead, mo’ate? So stop repeating the sickening dictum of international media and stick to squabbles and disappointments, but I digress. So Election Day was good. An “A” mark is well-deserved for December 7.  And Charlotte Osei’s lip-gloss that evening was the same as always – a sassy hue between sheer bright and dark gloss, with a pinkish blush to it that had that perfect mesh with her wonderful lip tone. There’s been only three occasions that her lip-gloss went awry, and those three can be categorized as when she lied, when she arrogated to herself more arrogance than the constitution permitted, and when she was declaring the final certified results of the 2016 presidential contest.
  1. Bad Charlotte Lip-Gloss
As soon as Charlotte appeared on TV on December 8, I immediately sensed something was wrong. She seemed to have frantically either chewed or rubbed her lips together. This clearly pushed the lip-gloss outward and made her lips look unfinished. And that was when she claimed the following palpable lies: (1) That the EC’s website had been hacked; (2) That there had been attempts to compromise the results transmission system; (3) That there had been incidences of widespread over-voting in Ashanti; (4) That some parties had refused to sign collation result sheets; and (5) That voter-turn out was at an all-time low of 49%. Let’s debunk these frivolously ridiculous statements and restore Charlotte’s lip-gloss to their healthy choler, unless of course those statements were designed to aid in something more sinister. Like the final desperate collation-rigging plans of the ruling party or such other nonsense as will from time to time be verified under scrutiny. Was the EC’s website hacked? On 1:58 AM of December 8, 2016, the EC tweeted, “We deplore the attempt to hack the EC’s website. Please respect the integrity and independence of the EC”. This short statement got my hackles up, and was pregnant more with what it said than with what it didn’t say. Who attempted the hacking? How did they attempt it? What did the EC know about the hackers? How could it assume that the hackers were Ghanaian and needed to respect the independence and integrity of the EC? Would foreign hackers give a rat’s posterior about integrity of the EC? Or – and here’s where I’d put my money – was that misguided tweet the EC’s knee-jerk reaction to the NPP’s press conference announcing the figures that put their candidate in a trouncing lead (and would later prove to be supported by the EC’s own declaration)? The NPP’s press conference ended at exactly 1:45 AM. The EC tweeted at 1:58AM. That’s just 13 minutes after the NPP had gotten the Flagstaff House scuttling in all directions with their announcement after a mere 8 hours after the close of polls. Clearly, neither the NDC nor the EC had any idea how effectively competent the NPP’s War Room had been configured to operate by that NASA-trained dude. The EC suddenly came face-to-face with their incompetence at collation. Heck, even the media were way ahead of them in getting provisional results in, and Charlotte and her lip-gloss found themselves ball-watching like a bunch of incompetent quarterbacks. With a mere hundred thousand dollars, the NPP’s system was unimpeachable. But the EC could not even safeguard its own website when it had been awarded a whopping 800 Million Ghana Cedis of our taxes. Add to that, the NPP was announcing a flawless victory. The idea that the NPP’s – and the media’s – superior collation methods exposed the EC’s ineptitude at that exercise at way less the cost was not as lip-gloss effacing as the idea that her sweetheart, her appointing authority, her yori-yori and darling boy John Mahama was going to go down in history as the most flawlessly trounced incumbent in an African election. Shocked, appalled and ashamed, she gets someone in her outfit to tweet that the NPP had somehow hacked into the EC’s system to get the results. Of course she didn’t mention the NPP (like she would have tasted her smoothness level paa), but there was no doubt who she was trying to finger. Right after that, a series of blunders followed in a crazy choreography between Charlotte’s lip-gloss and Dzakpasu’s dry lips to cover up the first blunder. The truth is that the EC’s website was never hacked. The website’s bandwidth was simply not enough to survive the overwhelming traffic flowing there in search of some results, and it had no other choice than to fold in on itself. But Charlotte chose to lie about everything. The first lie, as mentioned, was the tweet. This was followed by allegations of over-voting and the threat to review some results. This threat came in because the NDC was shocked that, whilst its results from the Volta Region fell abysmally beyond usual figures, results from the Ashanti and Eastern Regions remained mostly unchanged. My hunch is that the NDC assumed that the NPP had been massaging NPP votes in the Ashanti Region the way the NDC has been doing in the Volta Region over the years. It therefore felt that over-voting had to be the logical conclusion from the shocking phenomenon, and persuaded Charlotte’s lip-gloss to assume an unsightly sheen. This is what led to the third blunder of the declaration of a 49% voter turn-out, when she was only probably repeating the 49% Volta turn-out whispered to her by the FSH. The media immediately subjected her false declaration to some bashing (to put it mildly), forcing her to retract and to amend. But to cover up the fact that they had been rigging the elections in Volta, as well as to reduce the palpable shame that forced Lordina Mahama to hide in the water closet when Mahama met with those pathetic white-clad supporters who were organized to assure him of his “comfortable lead”, the NDC and the EC needed to sell the idea of a low Volta turn-up, which, happily for me, caused Charlotte’s lip-gloss that eba-rice-ment of shameful proportions. Then came the biggest blunder of all – the failure to declare the results after 210 constituencies had still put Nana Addo in an unassailable lead over John Onaapo Mahama and, in its stead, report at a press conference that the electronic transmission had to be stopped due to what the EC suspected was a compromise of the system, for which a switch to manual verification of pink sheets was necessitated. What utter rubbish! 3. Monstrous Charlotte Lip-gloss The little mole I had planted where the gloss-saliva combo collected in the corners of Charlotte’s mouth revealed that while at 210 constituencies, the other Commissioners began to pile up pressure for her to declare. They were shocked when she told them she had to go home and change her dress first. Eish. And it took her three hours to do so! Ataa mɛi. Even with that, when she was declaring, there was no denying the monstrosity of her maquillage and lip-gloss. She could not have spent three hours in the shower la. I am pretty sure she was trying to let her darling boy know that the defeat was beyond “riggable” margins, and sweetly persuaded him to concede so he doesn’t get overly embarrassed by her declaration. When the agreement was reached, Charlotte forgot to carry her Q-Tips with her to swipe the excess gloss, skin, saliva, or whatever-the-heck-it-is off the corners and inner rims of her mouth and flopped unceremoniously into her chair on TV to declare the results with messed-up lip-gloss. By this time, President Mahama had conceded, and well-nigh made Charlotte’s – and her lip-gloss’s – declaration nothing but a constitutional declaration without its usual power and pomp. Charlotte needs to come clean. Her attitude and the EC’s shenanigans have produced an overall C-minus grade for an election that could easily have peaked A-plus. And, most importantly, she needs to be careful how she handles her lip-gloss when she’s up to no good. My entire crush on Charlotte is based on the sexy, sassy wahala of her lip-gloss. Take that away, even for a second, and I get broken hearted. #Lip-gloss Love #Lip-gloss is bae #Onaapo
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Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra-Ghana. Desperado /dɛspəˈrɑːdəʊ/ noun. a desperate or reckless person, especially a criminal. Early 17th century: pseudo-Spanish alteration of the obsolete noun desperate. Both desperate and desperado originally denoted a person in despair or in a desperate situation, hence someone made reckless by despair. – Emphasis mine. Now that the definition of desperado has been established, let’s cut to the chase. On or around June 22, 2016, Johnson Asiedu Nketia, General Secretary of the NDC ordered all his presidential and parliamentary aspirants not to participate in any debate organized by the Institute of Economic Affairs (IEA). His chest-thumping directive was specifically a direct result of the NDC’s unhappiness with the IEA’s decision to hold a separate debate for flagbearers of the two leading political parties, the NPP’s Nana Addo-D and the NDC’s John-M. The President and his party told us that a one-on-one debate between the two candidates is “a public show of disrespect” to Ghanaians and the other presidential aspirants, and would amount to “politics of discrimination” against the other parties. We could all see through the horse-poop, of course. The NDC perceived, correctly at the time, that their aspirant and president of the Republic would be torn to shreds by the opposition leader. Their fear was not exactly without basis. Any opposition candidate would look forward to flaw an incumbent in an election to score publicity and enhance his or her image in the eyes of the voting public. That’s exactly what I would do – show the president to be incompetent by offering better alternatives and expressing myself to be better than him in eloquence, depth of thought, and action. So there was no real surprise in the NDC’s chickening out of the IEA debate, and no one could really fault them for it. Self-preservation before all else, la. Now, let’s fast-track to October 2016. Without any recourse whatsoever to the IEA boycott decision, President Mahama has, on two occasions on TV and on radio, thrown a challenge to the NPP flagbearer to debate him one-on-one, especially on some of the allegations he and Dr. Bawumia have been making against his competence on their nationwide campaign. Political watchers are wondering what has brought about the president’s volte-face, and this jungle boy wants to posit that, in addition to the usually unprincipled, opportunistic, inconsistent attitude to politicking the NDC is known for, the answer to the question is simply DESPERATION. Let’s examine the 7 evidences that prove, with just six weeks to the December 7 polls, that our First Gentleman has turned Desperado.
  1. The NPP’s better form
The NPP campaign is in top gear. They are firing on all cylinders. Momentum is completely on their side. The part that makes our resident Desperado even more anxious is that the potential first and second ladies of the opposition flagbearer and his running mate are even in on the no-holds-barred assault. Hardly had the NDC recovered from Dr. Bawumia’s unrelenting assault than Samira’s startling uppercut had caught them in the gonads. Meanwhile, it is with some effort that Ghanaians remember the name of the country’s vice president, to speak less of his wife’s. Who wouldn’t call for a debate in this desperate situation?
  1. The Crappy Economic Situation
Current economic conditions are not in the NDC’s favour, to say the least, and the NPP have exploited the fact unapologetically. Unless his touted incompetence is so complete that there’s no room for improvement, President Mahama knows he’s been steering a sinking economic boat. Even more damaging for Opana is the irritation of his cabinet on why Vice President Amissah-Arthur has not come out to defend the current economic conditions vigorously. But everyone who correctly hears thunder, sees traffic lights and drinks kalyppo knows that the vice president’s response to Dr. Bawumia’s prognosis on the ailing health of the economy has been poor, inadequate and as impressive as the sound of a rat’s fart in an elephant’s ears. Could anything be more desperate?
  1. The PPP Factor
The intense political activity of the PPP and, at some point the NDP, is making the regional path to victory very difficult for Ogrey. For instance, the PPP’s efforts in the Central Region is making things difficult for the vice president, and Rawlings’s anti-corruption campaign in the Volta Region is enlightening Nyebroskis and making them more aware of shortcomings in the NDC’s  commitment to bring them development. Opana knows the Volta Region will be tough this year, and the NDP’s participation in the elections is also likely to pull votes away from the NDC. As if all these weren’t enough, the NPP’s efforts in the Northern and Upper Regions, led by Dr. Mahamadu Bawumia and his beautiful wife seem to have divided the North. This seems to be only the beginning of troubles. Dr. Bawumia is pulling more crowds than Shatta Wale. That leaves the Greater Accra region, but the region looks poised to repeat the history of 2008. Eastern and Ashanti are declaratorily NPP. Opana must be taking overdoses of martin liver salt from dyspeptic conditions brought on by desperation from knowing all these facts.
  1. Corruption and Thievery
The perception of corruption in the NDC government is now so ingrained on the minds of the electorate that every attempt by the government to shrug off the allegations have proved ineffective. Ogrey knows that corruption is a major battle-ground area in this election but he seems unable to fight the tag. This is because corrupt deals get exposed every week, and Woyome is practically still a free man (as is Dzifa Attivor). Now that Woyome has been hauled before court to either show where his assets are, or spill the beans on all who shared in the illicit booty, the perception of corruption will remain even beyond December 7.
  1. Mahama’s highfaluting Incompetence
No government has been branded as incompetent as the Mahama-led administration. Mahama’s weak response has been to don military boots and wear Commander-in-Chief threadmanship, trying to look tough in his toy-soldier gimmickry. The tag of an incompetent government is so deep-seated, and this point has been hammered by the opposition NPP over and over again, that it has become accepted as true.
  1. The Battle of the Manifestoes
The credibility of the Manifestos presented by the two main political parties is also playing out in the public domain. While that of the NPP seem to be gaining traction, that of the NDC, especially that which seeks to highlight infrastructure development achievements, is being portrayed as phony. Some sections of the media have taken it upon themselves to verify these projects and the verdict out there suggests that infrastructure development has fallen short of promised expectations. What is more damaging to Ogrey’s government is the perception of “artists’ impressions” being paraded as projects that have actually been duly completed. This has smacked of public deceit by the NDC government, adding to the general lack of credibility that is making Mahama desperate.
  1. The fear of Akufo-Addo’s Incorruptibility
There’s no doubt that Nana Akufo-Addo is incorruptible. Ghanaians are projecting his personal unassailability on an NPP government, and the image of an incorruptible leadership is fast gaining ground. With that image also comes the shadow of a clean-up. It is expected that everyone who has had a hand in any deal that has cost this nation a pesewa of its sweat-infused cash-pot will honeymoon at Nsawam at one point or the other. Akufo-Addo as Attorney-General has cleaned up a corrupt system before, and it is expected, although not a campaign message of the opposition, that thievery will be signally punished until every woyomeic cedi is restored. This cannot be summed up better than Dzifa Attivor’s suggestion on a political platform, in the early part of the year, that a win for the NPP would mean a majority of NDC government officials serving time in jail. Nothing could lead to desperation faster than the fear of an NDC-infested prison. So, putting all this together, wouldn’t you be desperate if you were Mahama? Now let’s go back to the bottom part of the earlier definition of desperado – someone made reckless by despair. Yes. The challenge to debate Addo-D is a reckless, desperate one, and it has the familiar tinge of despair with it. Remember the president’s defeatist “I’ve Done My Best” statement the other day? But Mahama sees no other light at the end of the tunnel for him, unless he resorts to intimidating voters on Election Day. But even that has no guarantees for success since such a move may be met with a more violent resistance by electorates who have had enough of his incompetence. And, unlike in a by-election, employing thugs to intimidate a general election is a daunting task. Ghanaians are increasingly considering the ballot box as sacred, and its desecration by thugs has an uncomfortable ring of a repellent lynching to it. That leaves the option of challenging Addo-D to a battle of wits to try and take back some of the lost traction in the race for the Flagstaff House. The sad reality however is this: Ogrey will be totally unarmed in a battle of wits with Addo-D. The opposition leader’s speeches of late are indicative of a depth of thought totally lacking in any speech President Mahama has delivered over the past three years. And Nana Akufo-Addo’s prowess in a debate is unparalleled, especially when there’s no Ayariga tomfoolery this time round. Many years of parliamentary camaraderie between the two should teach Opana that the only thing he will win from a debate with Addo-D is spin-doctor value… the nonsense NDC communicators will spew about whatever jabs Mahama is able to throw at the opposition leader during the debate, just to boost his fallen ratings. And that, sadly, is the psyche of a Desperado. My good friend Akwasi Afrifa Akoto of Facebook sums up, in awesome language, how desperate President John Mahama has become: Mahama’s Hail Mary: A Desperate Call for a Debate In play books of every coach in American Football is a play called the “Hail Mary.” Usually when a team is trailing behind and there is but one second remaining on the clock with only one play left, with the ball more than 70 yards away from the end zone, the offensive coordinator would call the Hail Mary. As soon as the ball is snapped, the Quarterback would try to scramble around to give all his players enough time to get into the end zone before throwing the ball. The rational is that the more players in the end zone, the higher the chances of the ball being caught for a Touch Down-to either send the game into overtime or win the game outright. In soccer, there are similar situations. [A] last corner or last free kick with [barely] anytime left and the team down a goal, all the players including the goalie of the losing team would rush forward into the 18 yard box in an attempt to maximize the chances of scoring to tie the game into extra time or gain a crucial point. The Hail Mary, therefore, is a play-call which signifies desperation. It is a Kamikazi call in an almost improbable no-win situation. It is [an] all or nothing call and thus fails 99 out of [each] 100 times employed. Some coaches would rather kneel or spike the ball to run out the clock, accepting defeat, calmly. On the ground, Mahama knows voters are not buying into his message. And this has become apparent to him after spending much time on the campaign trail cross-country. [He] is … now blaming some media conspiracy for [blacking out] his achievements. His General Secretary is [spending sleepless nights] in the Volta Region, the NDC World bank of all places, publicly begging for votes. In spite of all the propaganda, he is not getting the feedback from the people he would like as he travels around the country. And now, he has run out of options. He has done everything he possibly could… launched his campaign, published a Green Book, out-doored his manifesto, worn soldiers’ uniforms, put up billboards, painted the nation with posters, posed like [Usain] Bolt and still, he is TRAILING behind Addo-D. And time is running out. So like a NFL coach, the president has only one play left. The Hail Mary. And that is what his call for the debate is all about. A last minute, desperate attempt to rally the team to tie or win the game. No wonder the NPP says they’d sooner launch a kalyppo space shuttle than give him the pleasure. Poor, desperate Opana!  
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Author: JayJay D. Segbefia, NAV Accra – Ghana Ghana’s democratic history is inundated with checkered obstructions every now and then from military dictatorship and buffoonery. If I am not mistaken in my calculations (I was, at best, an indifferent student of history), we have had 24 of our 59 years smarting under the zombie-spiked whips of military oppression, brutality and bruxism. The last one never really left until 2001. Jerry Rawlings only switched his faded Air force OJs for the more glorious civilian suit and Agortime kente, but the ACDR and the dreaded 64th Battalion remained, beating demonstrators of the famous 1995 Kume Preko demonstrations to pulps and shooting peaceful demonstrators in the chest and (specifically as they were ordered to do) in the genitals. Oh, we remember too well the brutish abandon with which our human dignity was trampled on and fed to the dogs when people whose only route to anything resembling intellectual power and influence was through the barrel of older versions of my Kalashnikov. Which is one of the reasons this country will never again tolerate a military coup without a fight that will, like Turkey, make them understand just who is actually in charge of this country’s destiny, but I digress. 2001 ushered in all freedoms – the unfettered freedom of the press being the most admired. And it granted to everyone in this country, without let or hindrance, the right to say whatever the heck they wanted, however the heck they wanted to say it, and anywhere the heck they wanted, about the way they believed the course of our Republic needed to be charted. The 64th Battalion was disbanded with alacrity, and the Ghana Military, for once in their hitherto constitutionally miserable existence, suddenly understood what their proper place in the Ghanaian society was – under the rest us. (After all, wasn’t it our hard-earned taxes that paid for their very drawers?) For these reasons and more, John Agyekum Kuffour never wore military garb. He stood at all parades as tall as a giant, majestic in civilian garb, and civilian garb only. His towering form, his proclivity for Asante Bonwire kente, and his incisive eyes bore true faith and allegiance to the fact that he was Commander-in-Chief of the Ghana Armed Forces as a civilian. And as a civilian, he had the dignity and power to command the nation’s forces. And he was, by explicit constitutional design, above all the Generals and Captains and Wing Commanders of the Ghana Armed Forces. He didn’t need camo to prove nada. Same with Prof. Atta Mills. Although weaker of physical composition than his predecessor, the tottering Prof. Mills was a hundred times more powerful than Colonels by the scores, Captains by the dozens and Generals without number of the GAF. And all this in his plain-coloured political suit. Neither Kuffour nor Mills went down the infantile road of donning military garb. They knew their places, and did not, under any circumstances, seek to undermine their powerful positions as civilian heads of state with any military threadmanship. No childish horseplay attended their relationship to the GAF, and they certainly were smarter than the cheap theatricality and imprudent small-boys-playing-soldiers stunt the current occupier of the nation’s highest office seem to have arrived unabashedly at overnight. I would not here begin to go down the road of the legal impropriety of a civilian donning military garb in Ghana. Someone please tell me where the honour is in a civilian wearing military uniform here? Besides the fact that a person that does so gets a prejudicial beating by soldiers in this Republic, what is so honourable, outside of the honourable service of our gallant Officers and Men, about wearing camos and government boots? In other jurisdictions, doing so raises awareness of, and respect for the people who volunteer, sign up for, and put their lives on the line for a country. In the United States, numbers of people looking to sign up for military service is declining by the thousands. The military is lucky to have people sporting their garb in solidarity. But in Ghana, military service is more a search for economic prospects in contemporary times than any real desire on the part of soldiers to lay down lives for the good of civilians. The naked truth is that acceptance into the Ghana Armed Forces is so ethnically and nepotically polarized that people apply to get in with a tall list of back-ups and higher-ups should they get kicked out at any stage of the selection process, and for as little as jerking back quickly because a female medic was grabbing one’s genitals too quickly during medic exams. President John Mahama does neither his civilian power nor his Commander-in-Chief status any honour by his military threadmanship stunts and toy-soldier gimmickry. The president plays too darn much! Military facilities and events deserve better gravity, a seriousness commensurate with the highest task of safeguarding the territorial integrity of a nation. And that has been lacking these two times the president has gotten involved in this tomfoolery. Any GAF Officer of high station whose voice contributed to this hoopla needs to resign with immediate effect. It is, in my not-so-humble opinion, the depths of treason to stand aside, unconcerned, as your Commander-in-Chief makes a mockery of himself. And if he, as president, cannot find it in himself to get off the playground, he should step aside so his betters may lead this country with the gravity required to overcome our increasing economic and socio-political doldrums. Onukpa bɛ shĩa aloo? And, while we’re at it, Puss-in-Boots did far more for his master, in boots and jaunty feathered hat, than Opana-in-Berets has done for our economy. Let’s get off the playground and be serious, for Pete’s sake. Argh!  
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