Dear Kwesi Kyei Darkwah,

I am no fan of yours, but I have been meaning to write to you for a looong time. I am a very busy man, you see? I run a business that takes men and women of every imaginable shade, colour and creed, and I introduce them to life in the deepest recesses of the Ghanaian jungle. I push them to abseil off cliffs, hike through jungle swamps, kiss snakes, bike wildernesses and expand the boundaries of their minds. Oh, and I just got featured on Pulse TV. You can watch me running my jungle mouth a little bit right here. I trained as a journalist, you see, so you and I may have had a lot in common until your you-know-what. I’m getting all this out of the way so you’ll understand why I am appropriating to myself the unfounded arrogance of thinking I can address you.

You on the other hand used to be the household name for oratory excellence and entertainment television. I remember you in your multi-coloured hues on TV (at the time – and even now – I thought you were overly fond of mismatched clothing) introducing Miss Ghana contestants every girl dreamt to aspire to (I didn’t, even though I am no girl. I like my girls full and well-nourished, not skinny and emaciated like a bunch of chop sticks). I remember your confidence on stage, your smooth renditions, and how you could make the scrawniest contestant look like skinny-bones was the new face of Africa.

Now that the horse-crap introductions are over, let’s cut to the chase. Do you seriously believe that “big men” in this country really wanted to do you in, and tarnish your image, as you reportedly mentioned as the reason KOD begged you not to mention his name to do with the African Regent alleged rape saga?

I read the story of the interview you granted to Deloris Frimpong Manso, and watched the video on YouTube. You were on point in the Akan language, and looked classy in your comportment and use of proverbs, but your allegations of a big conspiracy leaves a foul stench in my nostrils. If such a conspiracy truly existed, you should be in jail since such “big men” could have had the wherewithal to ensure your incarceration based on the facts of the case.

But first off, if Ewuraffe Orleans Thompson was my sister (or a fifth cousin several times removed for that matter) I am pretty certain, the Constitution one day permitting, I would be looking at your multi-coloured backside walking out of that courthouse from the crosshairs of a Kalashnikov. Don’t get me wrong. I am a sweet-natured, saner-than-most, highly intelligent jungle boy. I wouldn’t plead mental insanity after the fact. I’d have been looking into those crosshairs in the full might of my intellect and law, and depress the trigger.

Here’s my beef: We all get to chase after women who will never want us in this lifetime or the next. We all get jilted by girls who we think should be easy picks but turn out to be as insurmountable as Uhuru Peak on Kilimanjaro (to this point, I am well ahead of you – I have kissed Uhuru). We all get dumped, scorned, rejected, belittled, disparaged and demeaned by girls all the time for no reason at all, in spite of our special status as men – why should the case be different in yours?

Oh I know how it must feel like. We’ve all been there (except me. I find mountains infinitely more riveting). You go home with a girl after hitting all the right notes in your voice, saying all the right words and showing all the right glitz and crap. You waste a fortune (certainly not in your case) showering her with KFC (kenkey & fried chicken), expensive ice creams and other diabetes-inducing doohickeys just to create the mood (how much does a hotel suite cost koraa nowadays?), and then you advance when the time is right.

As you get to kiss, exchanging all kinds of germs in that slobbering experience (never mind that hepatitis B is on the rise), she lets you have your way. You squeeze twin towers like a packet of Fan Yogo, say meaningless hogwash and do everything so the portals to home-sweet-home may be opened to your fumbling monkeyshines, while your breath wheezes like a rutting boar and your heart rate accelerates. Then, just when all looks set for that to happen which felled all the Great men of history – Solomon, David, Abraham and our own Bill Clinton – the lass remembers the counsel of her mother and the admonitions of her father and declares firmly, “Hitherto shalt thou come, and no further.”

Tsooo!

It is a very demeaning turn of events, I tell you; especially if your ding-dong is all pink-tipped with anticipation and has done its most erect salute to date. You rise up, mortified beyond description and blush to the roots of your black skin with embarrassment, wear your tsakoto and rush off to the bathroom to ice your overzealous member and nurse the most loathsome of all humiliations.

This is why you ain’t special in this sense, and this also is the way of all modern men – especially of the fornicating and adulterine kind. You win some, you lose some. But you didn’t want none of that (in my lafa voice). You felt you were more special than the rest of us – that the great KKD’s sexual desires could not be denied, much less by a 19-year old girl without enough sense to not have been out with the likes of you at that time of day to begin with.

And so you raped her.

Viciously.

Allegedly.

Afterwards you gave her an after-pill, so she wouldn’t mother your bastard and sock you with child support later on. This is what you are. A teenage-raping scum (must I say “allegedly” again? I never quite get the legalese right). And this is what the facts of the case as presented by the prosecution are. There were doctors’ reports to substantiate these allegations – and your Gog-and-Magog courthouse costumes notwithstanding – we the people of John Q. Ghanaian Public find the facts to be more consistent with Effe’s accounts than we did your statement to the Airport Police (which read to me like the down and dirty account of sex from an amateur erotic short stories website).

Giving these facts, I doubt any civilized public prosecutor’s office would have let you go scot-free. There’s absolutely no way you would have walked in London, Tokyo, Paris or Washington D.C pulling crap like that. I have my own theories as to why Effe did not afterwards come forward to help jail your obsequious backside. Either ways, as public prosecutor or brother, you would not be walking out of that courthouse a free man.

But this is all history. A lot of people think (and you certainly are one of those people) that people like me come after you because of schadenfreude. You will have to make me the exception – I don’t give a rat’s posterior about Ghana’s entertainment industry (I find it infantile and boorish), and I think all the press about our so-called celebrities is all a whiff of codswallop. But what has gotten me all irritated with you today?

I watched your interview on the Delay Show, and your points are inconsistent with the facts of the case as reported to the Courts, but it serves your purposes to assume we all wash our faces upwards. Your attempts to use the silence of the alleged victim to your advantage doesn’t make your actions any less vile – especially the blasé attempt to show that your brand as an iconic figure in the entertainment industry has not been tarnished by your alleged rape case. You would certainly hope so, wouldn’t you? I am here to help you wake up. That case has messed your brand up in ways you cannot even remotely begin to understand, and the fact that you don’t understand speaks to the depth of depravity your brand has sunk. It is one thing to lose your gold of excellence to this totally preventable foolishness of raping a teenager (allegedly, darn it), but it is another to delude yourself that the brass that your brand has sunk to is still gold.

That is delusion, my friend, and it not only insults the intelligence of the more discerning segments of Ghanaian society; it insults the experience of innocent victims of alleged sexual abuse like Effe, and well-nigh guarantees that the next teenage-raping scum would be remorseless and emboldened in their foolishness like you are (alleged, of course).

Let me help you face it in these words, and I am not afraid to speak truth to power (and alleged teenage-raping scum, too): You are not KKD. KKD is someone you used to be.

Here’s my free advice until I discover Effe is my sister (I have family-tree experts working on that): Forget the darn brand, get a better use for the remainder of your life and prepare for the Second Coming or, failing that, sign up to a yoga class so you can develop the necessary flexibility to shove your head down your esophagus if you think that your story washes better than Effe’s reported accounts. You think your brand means more to Ghanaians than the trauma of the alleged forcible breaking of a teenage virgin’s hymen? And you have the nerve to speak of sex with a teenager as a sign of vitality and manliness? After you had earlier on apologized for having sex with same? You really believe that younger generations of men are jealous of the idea that younger women come after men of your particular age and ilk because you have more stud-like sexual stamina?

Really?

This is sick!

You need help, and for more than anti-depressants.

Yours, pissed-off-beyond compare,

Me.

86 Comments »

  1. you spoke my mind, word for freaking word…I was also outraged by his disgustingly pompous behind,balanced by that crooked cane which in hindsight was a shiny reminder of his bent morals ..talking of a grand conspiracy…oh Lord, the point even is..was he even relevant in the past five years?? the days of his ashanti borga, Miss (best plastic smile) Ghana hosting days died with the national dance championship..(if we can even remember it).. I honestly think he should get a specially carved stool made of the finest wood to match his cane, and sit that tired, wrinkled irrelevant bum on it..

  2. Eishh, !!!!!for once am borrowing this new phrase -I CAN THINK FAR!!!boy you have really emptied your Heart! That was some good read .-but not reaching for my Dictionary every now and then 😂

  3. Please check the family tree again
    We are related plus i will pay for both of us to prosecute this scumbag.
    I love your write up and i like you man (would have said love but….)

    • Hahahaha.

      Totally understand. It’s up to him now. He either learns to shut up and stop benefiting from Effe’s silence, or we re-open the can of worms he’d rather prefer to stay closed. It’s his choice. I hope he sues me though. Should be fun. 😉

      • Men of his likes are the ones he mentioned their names as friends.I have a baby with one of them who is very irresponsible and doesn’t take care if the child which am planning a court action soon .nice written piece.well done and God bless you for that.

  4. I don’t normally comment on posts like these, but boyyy!, did you read the hell outta this egotistical, narcissistic son of a bitch.
    Bless your heart and the brain behind this article. You’ve taken me to my literature class years back…#br)fo👏.
    As if he hasn’t done harm enough in traumatising the young lady in question, yet the media(Ghana) is giving him (kkd) the platform to spew #Nkwasias3m is beyond me.
    Thanks for being articulate and for a good read this A.M

    • He just run out of some good fortune this time. I had been meaning to respond to his self-serving media rhetoric ever since he was let go on the nolle prosequi, but each time my attention was drawn late. Someone had to take the side of the alleged victim if everyone is inclined to take the side of the alleged perpetrator. This article has however indicated to me that I am not alone.

      Thanks immeasurably!

  5. OMG. Are you sure you are not related to me? This is by far the most sensible read i have ever had the pleasure of putting on my varifocals to digest. You are forever going to be my go to, when some idiotic buffoon manages to piss the hell out of me. To hell with the English dictionary, i got me my own expressive to the ‘T’ linguist. ‘Tell him for me Charlie’ There are so many pumped up Testosteronic morons galavanting about in Ghana who think they can get away with bad behaviour. I say, any idiot that hires this stupid fool, is himself an ‘alleged’ rapist.
    The decent Ghanaian population need to pull ranks and flush opportunists like him out of the system.
    Its a shame i am not a publisher. This letter definately needs to be the front page of every publication.
    Well done my brother for blowing your top. I will make sure i never cross you
    ‘ Mbo ni kasa’ Hear hear. Thats all im saying.

    • Nana I’ll have my family-tree experts look into it too. We must be connected somehow. 😉

      I hope that it puts a stop to his media nonsense. No one is perfect, and who knows, one day my yawa too will burst. But I have been unhappy the way he goes about so arrogantly where this issue is concerned. I do not know the alleged victim, but she represents to me the many young women who have similar stories to share about powerful and famous men. Hopefully, this might give hope, if not consolation. Cheers!

    • Hahahaa

      It came easy after watching his “máy3 a, máy3 attitude on TV. Hopefully, there will be decent men going forward when issues like this come up – men who at least have the decency to refrain from hurting victims more when they get away with sleeping with teenagers. Cheers!

  6. Wow……..
    I don’t normally read long post but bet me Jay, you nailed it right in the head and I cant help but to stay glued and read all…

    That man nrver ceases to amaze me

  7. I think you hit the nail right on the head but this should also serve as a lesson for young Ghanaian women who wants to get close to big names. For the writers info, powerful men in society have gone scot-free in some cases like this in UK. I was amazed to hear a case involving a Saudi business mogul in UK went scot-free after raping a teenager and said he slipped to get his dick into the lady and a court in civilised nation like UK accepted and discharged him.

    It’s good we get people like you to write bodly against this bad behaviours in society.

    • I read that story too and was disgusted. What if the teenager had also slipped and cut off his langalanga? But stories like this are the exception and not the norm in those countries. Here, it seems it’s the norm because a lot of people fear the same stigma that forced the alleged victim to desist from seeing his prosecuting through. Hopefully, we all can change that going forward. Cheers!

  8. You just made my day👍🏾. I am glad someone has the balls to dish it out to him. I have been soooo pissed with this guy since I saw him in a hat with a walking stick on his way to court posing for the cameras. Love your write up!

    • I was incensed over that, too. And astounded. I’d have gone in a priest’s cassock if I was arraigned before a court for alleged rape. But no, our former KKD had to dress up like a toad. That shocked the hell out of me.

  9. It’s sad how some elements of our society tries to glorify the ignominy that has become kkd. For him to choose this path for his redemption just goes on to emphasize how arrogant he is.

    He is indeed stupid to think Ghanaians are taken in by his lame explanations.

    • I’m sure he had reason to believe so until now. Thankfully, he knows better now. At least you and I are happy to register our disgust. The next alleged rapist would think twice before they assume that a nolle prosequi gives them the same right of arrogance as an acquittal.

  10. I just copied your piece into a pot of reserve for the future (starting from tomorrow) and why is that so? I admit your writing is skillful and elaborate enough with a lot of phrases I surely will learn from (of course not to derail necessarily). I wish I had the capacity to impart on your writing with a little advice on blending your elaborate lines with simple but equally hard driven views (it will allow for a wider appreciation). But reading over and over I sense you are at liberty to ignore due to your superior ability with words. Overall a very good piece from a pure writing perspective.

    You admit the guy is spent so the effort in finally burying a dying, say, ‘snake’ with an articulator of words is pretty inconsiderate but I appreciate you attend to rob off the KKD of old. Am sure it has brought the attention you so seek but good attention I must say because of your writing skill. Beyond that you bought yourself nothing but cheap publicity. Because I concede after this whole saga, the 49 year old still looking fresh KKD of old, now or the future deserves his peace. The law took its course regardless of whatever he may want to say to defend himself. In fact I listened to the Delay interview that irks you this much and I must confess he didn’t say much to prove his innocence. Unless you are willing to pay for his rebirth and renaming, he remains KKD. Man is fallible and so the provision of law. It only becomes a problem when the yardstick to put man into a reminder of a sane state ( referring to the law) is comprised and in his case the law did its work. This piece must travel back into time and find its place within time the heat of the matter was on. Now a natural course has rendered this just a bit to little to late. Hehehehe you can tell am inspired by your writing. Kudos

    • Hahaha Paakow.

      I am contesting his right to claim he’s still KKD. The KKD we all loved and admired, except for his fashion of course, is gone. Replaced by one whose principles are as alien as they are disgusting.

      Sure, his innocence is not on trial. It’s his arrogance that is. My point was that he lacked the credibility, in the face of the allegations, to trumpet his innocence and imply that the guilt lied with the alleged victim. That’s what pissed me off so badly.

      Cheers!

    • I’d be very disappointed if he doesn’t. Then again, if he doesn’t, it could mean he has taken our advice to shut up and let us all move on – both alleged perpetrator and victim alike.

  11. I watched a snippet of the interview when it was playing live. I switched of the TV out of disgust. Firstly, no apologies but I have always felt that anyone who goes on the delay show has very questionable self respect because of the usually disparaging tone of her questions. Now to see her giggly and looking star struck at none other, out of several people she has interviewed, than this scum who is a paradigm of everything wrong with our society, was nausea inducing. Why give him the audience/airtime for this crap? I was miles beyond livid at the point where he tried to make it seem like the girl and her parents were gold diggers who were trying to tarnish his image when he mentioned that he no longer goes out with people whose parents he doesn’t know, which begs the question : which sane parent is allowing their daughter to go anywhere in this world with this stuck up POS???!!!
    I feel your anger Jay, this letter says it all. Sadly, he won’t read it and even if he does, this is Ghana. way3 ah, way3. Rubbish

  12. For sometime now I thought I was the only one irritated by how this man keeps walking about with that annoying stick acting like he is still the man he used to be. You can’t begin to imagine what the knowledge that I’m not alone does to my being. To think he has a daughter around the same age of Effe. He should find a hole and hide in

    • You’re surely not alone, Klenam. Sure, no one wants an innocent person sent to jail, and no less for a crime he didn’t commit. But he forgets that a nolle prosequi does not do his image any good. A bit more silence would have done the trick for him. But by trying to sell us the story of conspiracies and set-ups, he ended up making all of us angry, leaving us wondering if there wasn’t some truth to the allegations. I am sickened by his noisemaking in the face of Effe’s silence. Hopefully, no other woman would ever go through this kind of ordeal now that we’ve all spoken.

      Cheers!

  13. We still find ourselves in a patriarchal society where men shamelessly continue to prey on innocent girls/women, while the society by their actions and inactions empower these miscreants at the same time silencing and victimising the aggrieved individual. Such is the reality and it is sad and very dissapointing. Be the voice for the voiceless, silenced ones. Thank you.

  14. Oh Ghana and haters.
    1. If the lady for whom you are fighting refused to say she has been raped and
    2. If the Bill of indictment does not contain a statement by the victim accusing the man of rape
    Then why are you still hating?
    Jealousy go shame.
    Live your life. We are tired of haters.

    • Leon,

      The lady did say she had been raped. She just didn’t want him to go to jail. Sometimes our society forces alleged victims of sexual abuse to cower in shame and shun the publicity that will be generated for what they consider shameful by avoiding the prosecution process entirely.

      Also, the medical reports and everything else speak much more volumes than the verbosity of what KKD expects to have been an appropriate statement. The evidence spoke louder than his sickening pornographic statement.

      But I guess for people like you, it doesn’t matter what the truth is. If this ever happens to your daughter, I’d be happy to share your perspective when I go after the alleged perpetrator.

      Cheers!

  15. I thought i had made my peace with this pathetic excuse of man. Reading this article just showed me how angry i still am at how KKD pedals his rubbish in self-denial, desperately clutching on to the glory he use to be. Thank you Mr Jay! He was and has always been a sleaze!!

    • Easy. 😉

      Let’s just hope this puts an end to it all. One more unwarranted denial and I’d go ballistic on him. He needs to put a firm closure on the saga by not presuming we’ve all fallen for his act.

  16. You couldn’t have said it better. I watched the interview and was appalled. Would have served him better to accept his wrongs and offer a heartfelt apology each time he was interviewed. He could have then gone on to advice men of his like to have some respect for themselves and females by not committing such acts and feeling so entitled. Shame on you KKD. Shame on you!!! You are a grown man with a daughter…. Act like it!

  17. verbose plus the girl never said she was raped. provide a copy of the girl’s statement saying she was raped first before u accusing kkd of rape and even with a statement until he is proving guilty u can’t accuse him of rape because it is possible the girl can also frame him. STOP hating and STOP judging

    • Ernest: You sound like you were there cheering KKD on when all this was happening. This is the usual line of all alleged rapists… statements and frames and set-ups and so forth… which is neither here nor there. So far, it’s all allegations, and KKD was discharged from prosecution, not acquitted. Any moment, and he would be able to stand trial again. In short, the entry of a nolle prosequi is NOT an acquittal, and the principle of double jeopardy does not apply. The defendant may later be re-indicted on the same charge. Please read before you assume the focus of this piece is to hate him. If anything it’s to help him… to shut the hell up.

      • sound like i was there cheering? all you do is sit in your comfort zone and accuse people. mind you, this can happen to anyone including you. until he is proven guilty you can’t judge him because you and i were not there. You can go join the attorney general to re-indict him on the same charge if you can to prove his guilt rather than hiding here and throwing insults and false accusation.

  18. Hehehe jay jay
    Relax,u bore too much .
    Anyway you’ve really nailed it,hope the letter gets to him ASAP .
    By the way I have learnt some new words from your open letter 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

  19. KKD needs to understand that no matter how he looks at it, he’s WRONG. And as such, there’s no cause for justification. Also, he needs to come to terms with the fact that we who speak up about this impropriety are neither bitter people on the sidelines nor schadenfreudes; as you rightfully stated. We only demand that he mans up to his actions.

  20. Hahaha hah, nice piece.
    Such guys don’t need to go spend our tax money in prison. Just get some thugs, capture him…. no,the right word would be kidnap… then you perform a nice permanent surgery down there. Release him to go sin no more, later you can release the videos to the public. I believe that would silence both his mouth, arrogance and the hernia exposed thing in -between his legs. EEEEIIIII sorry the post moved me. 🙂

  21. What is appalling is that, tv personalities like Delay give him the platform to spread his lack of depth!!!. She as a woman should have used this opportunity to call him out instead of stroking his ego. i find it funny that people like him like to think of themselves a elite just because they can buy colourful cloths from Tkmaxx sales and salvation army charity shops..Absolute scum!

  22. Thank you Thank you Thank you ..He is himself proven to the world how shallow he is ..Empty Barrels indeed make the most notice ..

  23. Thank you so much for this write up! U just put all my thoughts into beautiful words. The fact that Ghanaians blamed the victim made me realize how ‘sick’ we are as a nation.I felt a bit of relief knowing that all is not lost for us and there are indeed people who reason.
    He has no idea the trauma he has put and still is putting this girl through. And he’s has no idea how stories like this only brings back painful memories to sexually abused victims. To KKD…I’m just waiting on Karma to get to u!!!!

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